Surprises
by MelancholicPolarBear
Summary: Ch14 up. Josh and Lana drama! Mia is too happy to get back at her step-sister. Lilly is getting out of control. Grandmère... is Grandmère.
1. Wake up Girl

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters are taken from Meg Cabot.

This is my first fanfic so I guess it won't be that wonderful but at least I tried to entertain my readers. Oh and English is not my native language so I apologise for spelling mistakes or possible non-sense or even just strange formulation.

I am not sure yet about how to use the web-site, I just hope I'll succeed to upload my story.

PG-13 just in case.

My life is over! And strangely enough it is not because:

- My real name is Amelia Mignonette Grimaldi Thermopolis Renaldo.

- I am the crown princess of Genovia, a very small country close to Monaco.

- Because of that, I have to take princess lessons every evening (sometimes even on Weekends) with Grandmère

-Said Grandmère is a dictator. I am still wondering how people could find her charming... hum actually nobody finds her charming! They just pretend to. If I were as cruel as she is, I would organise a revolution for the cheer pleasure of seeing her head removed from her body. It's not possible however because I am against violence and death penalty, besides that would mean my dad, whom I love, would be in danger himself and, wait a minute, I would be too!

- My mother is married to Mr G. my algebra teacher and they are expecting a baby. 

- I DON'T love my boyfriend Kenny. I am such a monster really. This guy is so sweet and all and I like him a lot but I can't love him.

- Because I'm in love with Michael Moscovitz, my best friend's older brother. And the thing is that he will never NEVER love me back. As a matter of fact it is a miracle he is not (yet) repulsed by me.

- My best friend Lilly is both a genius and a lunatic! Don't take me wrong, I love her but sometimes she goes too far. And I am a bit tired of being treated as if I was a mentally retarded person! Sure I am not and will never be as intelligent as Lilly or any of the Moscovitzes for that matter. But that doesn't mean I am a piece of shit!

- Lilly will kill me if she ever gets to know that I like... no LOVE her older brother.

- I will never be able to work for Greenpeace because Grandmère says it's not fit for a princess.

- I am going to flunk Algebra (You would think that Mr G. would do something for me considering our family situation but no! Ok he might agree to give me extra Algebra classes at home, but if he does so, I go live with Tina. Besides I already have the cutest Algebra teacher ever: Michael Moscovitz. I could never give up on that! Please, let Mr G. be too busy with my newly mood-swinging mom to even think about giving me classes at home!)

Last but not least: I have no breasts. 

No, my life is over because of a conversation I have had with mom and Mr G earlier this evening. I was coming back from princess lessons so I was quite tired and rather in a bad mood. Grandmère had had a new stupid idea: She wants me to take ballet-dancing classes because it would do me some good. I might be able to stand in a royal or at least noble and dignified way after that. No way! I mean I admire ballet dancers but I think it's too late for me and I don't have time for it. Of course I said it to Grandmère and then a brilliant idea crossed my mind. Grandmère, I said, I would really love to do ballet dancing but the only free time I have I spend it with you for princess lessons. I am however ready to sacrifice myself and go to ballet classes instead!

"Don't be stupid Amelia," she answered. "You cannot do without princess lessons, you're far too clumsy and ungifted!" (No need to say I was really hurt! Why don't I have a nice grand-mother who bakes cakes, speaks of cats and finds you so wonderful that she speaks about you to all her neighbours? Why do I have to be stuck with a grandmother who is cruel and has had her eyeliner tattooed). "No you'd rather give up Algebra (She suddenly got all my attention. Was she able to scare my father so badly that he would interfere at school so that I would drop Algebra for ever???), haven't you said many times that you're being tutored by a certain Michel during your private time? You absolutely don't need these extra-classes! You then would have enough time for ballet classes, wouldn't you?

My jaw dropped and for a moment I thought I might puke on Rommel who was standing at my feet... That was it, my life had reached its anticlimax, I was in Hell and Grandmère was Satan. I didn't know yet that it could become even worse. 

"Grandmère," I screamed! "I won't give up Algebra! I really need this extra tutoring! Besides it's not Michel, it's Michael! He is American!!! Remember this is America, this is not Genovia!"

Thankfully dad came in at that moment: "Mia doesn't need ballet classes but she needs to study Algebra. Mia, you can go home. Your grand-mother and I need to have a serious discussion"

So I came back home, rather anxious (It's Grandmère we are speaking about! She would do anything to torture me!) and I found Mom and Mr G. waiting for me. They both looked very serious. Something was wrong. God, do I ever get a break?!

"Is the baby alright?" I asked worried. Mom looked puzzled, she unintentionally put her hand on her belly and said "yes, of course! What makes you think it could be wrong?" 

"Well you both look like you have swallowed a sock!" Oh my God, something happened to Fat Louie! I told you not to let the window opened I cried!" and I ran into my room under Mr G. and mom's flabbergasted glances. But Fat Louie was sleeping on my bed... I hugged him like crazy and he didn't like it as far as I can tell, since my face is now full of scratches. 

I came back into the living room slowly. "Oh, so nothing happened to Fat Louie! What's the matter then? Why do you both look like you have some very bad news?"

"Well, mom started, we have some news for you but they are not that bad. It's huh... it's huh... Frank! Tell her!" 

"Mia, I have a daughter! She is 14, just like you and..."

"You have a daughter!? How come you never told us? Mom, can you believe he lied to you all that time?"

"Well, darling,... I knew"

"Oh.... YOU knew! And you didn't tell me! Why didn't you bother to tell me! And where is that daughter! How come she wasn't there for Thanksgiving? Is that some kind of a sick joke? It's not funny, you know. Now can I go to bed?"

"No, wait! I have a daughter. It's not a joke. Until now she lived with her mother and her stepfather. Her mother is... how should I say... not very nice... she has lots in common with uh your grandmother Clarisse. So she refuses frequently to let my daughter come with me for family celebrations. Sadly enough my daughter seems not to be too keen on seeing me either. But anyhow I see her everyday at school and now she's going to spend a month here with us because her mother and stepfather are touring in Europe. So maybe you will have to share your room for a while"

"Sh.. share my room? No way! I need some privacy sometimes; can you understand that? Mom, you can't do that to me! I mean, Frank, it's alright that you have a daughter and I don't mind her staying with us for a month but I can't share my room!"

"Mia is right Frank. Your daughter can sleep in the baby's room. The baby won't be here before a few months and I can wait until your daughter is gone before I finish painting it"

"Did you say you see your daughter everyday at school? I wonder who she is.... How come nobody knows you have a daughter at school? I hope we will go along though I think there won't be any problem as far as she is not Lana Weinberger!"

Mr G. turned blue. I hurried to apologise, as I was just joking. I mean I totally understood how such a sentence could have shocked him that much. It's like saying: I hope your daughter is not slut or something... but the more I apologised the more he looked like he was about to choke. I looked at him worriedly and then at mom. That's when it striked me! I mean mom was pretending to be cooking and mom never cooks! "Lana is your daughter! Lana is your daughter?! This can't be true. I have fallen asleep, yes I know I am asleep. I will wake up any minute from this utterly disgusting nightmare!"

Mr G just nodded. Really I think he couldn't tell much more… and he might have vomited if he opened his mouth. Who would like to confess that Lana is their daughter? He already has to live with this thought everyday but it must be even worse when he has to face the reality in front of other people. At that moment I felt so much pity for him. But then I remembered Lana would soon be living with us!

"Holy crap! When is she coming?"

"In a week time..."

I ran to my room where I locked myself. I have only been crying and writing since. Right now mom's speaking to me from the other side of the door. She has to shout to be sure that I hear her. She says Lana can't be as bad as I think. And that she is sure we will eventually get along. I'm sure she doesn't herself believe it but says it just because it's her moral duty as a parent. After all even Mr G. kind of recognised that she is a monster and it's his own daughter we're speaking about. What am I going to do?

I wonder if Lana could harm Fat Louie in any way while she is here. She's such a cruel girl, I think she would be perfect in the role of Cruella. She just would kill cats instead of dogs and make a coat out of their skin. Poor Fat Louie, I can't let anything happen to him. I love him even more than I love Michael... 

I have to speak to Lilly. Only... I can't go out of the room and face mom and Mr G. now. Lilly would certainly blame me for it, because as she puts it, I'm not assertive enough... Oh, I know I will go on the net to see if she or Tina are online.

Oh my god! Michael has just I.M.ed me.

Crackhead: Hey Thermopolis, how is it going?

Hmmm Should I tell him what's going on? Maybe I will repulse him now that I will have to share my home with Lana. I mean, it's like being contaminated...

FtLouie: Not very well, I have a new "sister" and I think I need to move away.

Crackhead: Have you been taking codeine again? You're mother's baby is not due before some months. Or do you mean that it is born already? And why move away? I thought you were pretty happy about the idea of having a little sister or a little brother.

FtLouie: Oh I'm not speaking about that sibling. I am speaking about my new sister: Lana Weinberger!

Crackhead: ????

FtLouie: Yes, you read well! Lana Weinberger is my newly found sister! My life is O.V.E.R! I am seriously considering suicide!

Crackhead: Please don't! I would be sad if you did! But can you be clearer? Why would Lana be your sister?

Wait! Did he really say what I think he said? Does that mean he cares about me? Maybe he likes me… No, don't be silly Mia (duh I speak like Grandmère now! She's always saying that to me, obviously it ha some really bad influence on me. Maybe I could have the Mocovitzes speak to my father and point out how Grandmère's influence is dangerous and how I will only gain a bad self-esteem –besides being unassertive and lacking self-realisation- if I keep going to princess lessons.

No, of course, Michael would be sad if I died because I'm his little sister's best friend and when Lilly is with me she's not buzzing around him. There is no way he could like a freak like me. A freshman with no breasts and no genius. Sigh.

FtLouie: It turns out that Lana's mother and Mr G. have had an affair a very long time ago. But obviously she decided that Mr G. was not rich and famous enough for her. They had just had the baby when she met Lana's stepfather (as she was having some aesthetic surgery to look thinner after the pregnancy). She then moved away with the baby. Because Mr G. is only a teacher (be it in a private school) and earns much less than mister aesthetic surgeon, he only got visiting rights. 

Crackhead: You must be kidding! Is this the 1st of April or what?

FtLouie: I wish!

Michael must have been shocked because he didn't answer for some time. Or maybe he was just too busy laughing at the idea that the worse freak of the school was somehow connected to the most popular bitch of the same school. Which I totally understand. I would give it a good laugh too, if the situation were not so tragic!

Crackhead: Hey but you know, that doesn't really make her your sister so you don't have to speak to her! Or try to become friend with her. (Isn't that a shocking idea?)

FtLouie: Except she's going to live with us for some time!!!!!!!!!!!

Crackhead: Please don't shout! I know it's hard but it's not my fault! And you're welcome home whenever you want so you don't have to be with her all the time (just don't bring her over, ok).

Listen I have to go now. See you tomorrow at school!

Crackead went offline.

Wow, he invited me to his place! Ok I know I go there very very often but it has always been Lilly who invited me. So it's really nice that Michael invited me this time. If he doen't care about me, at leat he is not yet disgusted. Maybe there's some good is that Lana thing. NOT.


	2. All the beautiful ones are laughing

Hello. Yes, I know it took ages for me to update but I'm both a very busy person and a very lazy one. ;)

Thanks for the few people who reviewed my story. I'm not totally satisfied with this chapter but I guess I better post it all the same or else I will never go on with this story. 

I apologise again for my bad English. It sometimes is very hard for me to write in English. Now back to my master's thesis (which I must write in English too. Argh. Only 78 pages to go L . sigh)

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing. PD is all Meg Cabot's. And "It's not" is Aimee Mann's. 

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So Lana arrived home yesterday evening. I was with Grandmère taking Princess lessons as usual when she arrived so at least I didn't have to welcome her. Well actually, I wonder what would have been best: being at home and have to welcome Lana or spending time with Grandmère? The first thing Grandmère said to me today was: "Amelia, I wanted to go shopping with you tonight, and I had already reserved the whole Channel shop for us but I changed my mind because it's totally hopeless. I don't see which clothes could make you look any better. At least you have beautiful eyes but apparently your breasts will never blossom. Well, don't worry too much about that, I know a very good surgeon who could fix that for you when you're a little older." 

Yes, I know, she is totally right and I am just a tall freak with no breasts but she could pretend to find me beautiful like every nice grandmother would do.

"Grandmère," I shouted, "couldn't you sometimes be a little more supportive! I am your granddaughter, you know! Your only grand-daughter! Can't you like me just a little?" Wow, that was pretty assertive! Lilly would have been proud of me. But that didn't seem to move Grandmère at all, on the contrary…

"Amelia! How do you dare speak to your Grandmother like that? Have you already forgotten how to behave like a Princess? Of course, you never pay attention to what I say! You are a constant disappointment! Well I guess you will have to come here on Saturday afternoon too so that I explain to you one more time how to behave in a dignified, polite and charming way!"

I didn't know what to answer to that… She was totally unfair. 

"And you are a very ungrateful young lady! I do everything for you, I sacrifice my time to give you classes, I try to comfort you over your lack of beauty and find solutions to your problems and yet you are not happy! You won't ever get a boyfriend without my help!"

"Grandmère, I already have a boyfriend! You don't seem to ever pay attention to what I say either!" So ok, I don't like Kenny that much but Grandmère doesn't have to know this. Plus the point is that if Kenny likes me and Kenny is a man (ok he is a freshman so we can't really call him a man, he is rather a teenage boy. Well in any case he is a male, a member of the opposite sex and that's quite a lot already!) then I am not totally repulsive to the male population! Hey who knows, some might very well find me attractive… Stop dreaming Mia! Kenny is certainly having a self-esteem problem, which led him to pick up a girl like me. 

Note to myself: ask Lily about that theory!

But Grandmère is a total hypocrite, she can't prevent herself from being a smart-ass… so I still have to go to see her on Saturday. Great, I can't wait to be criticised again.

Then I went back home to find the hall was totally crowded… with tons of bags. All Lana's. God she's here for a month, not for 10 years! How can she own so many things anyhow? 

Lana was in the living room but the only thing she said to me was "If you tell anyone that Frank is my father, I'll make your life miserable. I mean even MORE miserable… cause there's no way a freak like you can't have a miserable life already!" And then she ignored me for the rest of the evening. And the thing is… I already told most of my friends that Lana was coming over and, of course, I explained why… I mean, I couldn't pretend that I invited her over because she's my friend and we want to spend time together, could I? Everybody knows that Lana and I hate each other. Plus my friends would never speak to me again if I had to pretend I enjoy Lana's company. And that would make my life much more miserable than whatever Lana could do to me! What does she think? Hasn't she noticed already that Lilly is far scarier than she is? Even Grandmère is less dangerous than Lilly! 

But having Lana at home is a total nightmare. I could see even mom and Mr. G. were pissed off. Lana spent the whole night on her cell phone and her conversations went like:

"Hi mom. Yeah, It's awful here. Yes, I know. I know. But really it is the freaks' paradise. How could you ever pick up such a pathetic thing for me to have as a father in the first place? Hello! And his new wife, if only you could see her… she's completely swollen. Yes that's right she looks like a whale and yet she's not even half way through her pregnancy. At least she is not as ugly as Mia!" Thanks Lana, you're so sweet. The good point is mom is no longer going to lecture me about Lana being possibly a nice person ever again! Actually mom rather looks like she is going to strangle Lana right away. But Mr. G. is holding her back. I don't know how he manages that when he himself looks so crossed. "Hi, Rose. Guess what, I'm staying at Thermopolis' house. It is a complete torture! The only reason I am here is that her grandmother, who is a very good customer of my father, practically begged me into staying with Mia while my parents are away. She really believes that I could have a positive effect on Mia's behaviour. Totally hopeless, I say. The poor old lady always dreamt of having a granddaughter like me, or so she said. She said I was graceful, elegant and pretty. Plus, you know what, she pays me for "babysitting" Mia!" Grrrrrrr, Lana is such a liar! I know Grandmère is a monster but somewhere at the very, very, bottom of her heart, I know she likes me… just a little… Wait, Grandmère doesn't even have a heart! I still don't think she likes Lana. I remember she said once that girls like Lana are very vulgar. But… what if she really spoke to Lana? After all, she said to me this very evening that she knew a very good surgeon who could fix my chest problem… Did she mean Mr. Weinberger? I bet so… No, calm down Mia! Grandmère can't be paying Lana to "babysit" me. Lana is here because she is Mr. G's daughter. And that's all. And we all know she is too ashamed to tell it to her friend (though according to me there is no real reason for her to be ashamed – except for Mr. G's gigantic nostrils!) "Oh Josh, oh oh, oh. He he he he. You are sooooooooooooo funny! I agree that Moscovitz girl definitely looks like a monkey. You know what, we should open a zoo area at school. We could call it the "Princess' fan club". She herself looks like a giraffe, and her friend Tina Hakim Baba is the perfect elephant…" Hell! I might look like a giraffe but Tina is certainly not that fat and Lilly not that hairy! And they are both intelligent, unlike Lana! "Hey Josh! It's me again! Me! Lana! Can't you recognise my voice?! Are you passing out already? But it's only 8! Should we do something this evening? You know my parents are away so we could do whatever we want. Yeah. Let's meet at my place in one hour, ok? See you soon." At this point Mr. G got very angry. He forbade Lana to go and asked her to spend the rest of the evening in "her" bedroom. He also screamed that he was very disappointed to see his daughter doesn't know how to behave herself as a guest. He then forced her to call back Josh and tell him she couldn't make it after all. Apparently Josh was not too happy about the news. They had some kind of a fight after which Lana walked to her room. She was so angry that she kicked the door and screamed like hell because she broke one of her foot nails doing so. I couldn't be happier! 

Then I remembered that I have to take Princess lessons on Saturday afternoon and my mood sank. Actually it's not all that bad… I mean I had planned to see Kenny (or rather Kenny had planned to see me and I didn't know how to refuse without hurting his feelings, especially after I agreed to become his girlfriends. Lilly says I have to be a responsible person and act accordingly) on that afternoon and now I have an excuse to escape from my responsibilities and especially from his attempts to French kiss. I always feel so uncomfortable with him. I mean Kenny's nice but he is not really my type. I'm definitely into the Michael type of men. And the only common point between Michael and Kenny is the computer club. Sigh. Well now I guess I have to go e-mail Kenny about Saturday afternoon. Of course I could call him but I want to avoid that by all means. I would have to hear him swear his undying love to me. Creepy! I wish he would react like Josh and dump me right away. That would be perfect because he would be the heartless one and maybe I would even get a comforting hug from Michael. One can always dream! It doesn't cost anything… though return to reality can be quite painful.

I was dreaming of how it would feel to be French kissed by Michael when the phone rang. With the chance I have, it must be Kenny! And mom always refuses to say I'm not home when I am indeed at home. She says she would be a bad mother if she encouraged me to lie, she keeps on telling me this kind of motto: "You start with a small lie and you end up like your grand-mother!" Not very encouraging I must confess, but hello… who lied to me during 14 years by omitting to mention that my father was royalty? Mom sure has a short memory! Well I have to hurry and answer the phone now…

… It was not Kenny! I'm so happy! No it was not Kenny and not Grandmère either. Not even Lilly! It was… tadada… Michael! I'm so lucky. Maybe he likes me after all. He just wanted to know if life with Lana was not too horrible. How sweet of him! God, I love him so much… however I heard the voice of Judith in the background. And I have no chance over Judith because she's so bright and she knows how to clone flies and I just know how to…. I have no idea what! Maybe I know how to be a freak. Yeah, great! So all of this means that even if:

I found the courage to break up with Kenny I would be crazy enough to completely humiliate myself in front of Michael by confessing how attractive I think he is I survived Lilly's anger Michael liked me a little ****

à I would have no chance because he is going out with Judith I'm-so-bright-and-gifted-and-I'm-also-a-senior-unlike-you-Mia!

And I'm only his little sister's best friend who also happens to be a tall freak with gigantic feet, no breasts and an insane grandmother, and the princess of a small country near-by France (Not forgetting the fact that Lana is now my "sister". Still feel like puking when I think about it).

My life is such a mess. It actually inspired me to write a poem. To be honest I am really proud about it. Plus it took me only a couple of minutes to write it. Michael is so totally my muse. The only problem is that I have scribbled the poem on the back of the Chinese take-away menu and I can't seem to find it again. I went to feed Fat Louie, meaning that I was away from the kitchen for 5 minutes. Apparently that was enough time for Mr. G. to throw it away (he was cleaning the kitchen. I mean I thought it would be nice not to be the only person who is cleaning around in the house but apparently it was a mistake. God, I should take care of everything myself. Of course Mr. G. is an Algebra teacher so he only understands about number. He can't understand about art and that's how he ends up throwing away a masterpiece. Thinking about it I wonder how mom could marry such a "logical" man when she herself is such a great artist.) Anyhow I looked into the rubbish bean but I didn't want to really put my hands in there and the paper didn't seem to be on the top. It's not so serious because I still remember everything I wrote and so I'm going to transcribe it here now. I called it: "IT'S NOT" (N/A: "It's not" is in fact a great song by Aimee Mann, which you can listen at www.aimeemann.com , her official web site) and it goes like that:

I keep going round and round on the same old circuit  
A wire travels underground to a vacant lot  
Well something I can't see interrupts the current  
And shrinks the picture down to a tiny dot  
And from behind the screen it can look so perfect  
But it's not  
  
So here I'm sitting in my car at the same old stop light  
I keep waiting for a change but I don't know what  
So red turns into green turning into yellow  
But I'm just frozen here on the same old spot  
And all I have to do is to press the pedal  
But I'm not  
  
People are tricky you can't afford to show  
Anything risky anything they don't know  
The moment you try - well kiss it goodbye  
  
So baby kiss me like a drug, like a respirator  
And let me fall into the dream of the astronaut  
For I'll get lost in space that goes on forever  
And you may call the rest just an afterthought  
And I'll believe it's you who could make it better  
Though it's not  
No it's not  
No it's not...

I think I will go I.M. Tina and ask her what she thinks about it. Tina is the only one who knows that I love Michael. And she also knows how I feel about being royalty and being a freak. I'm sure she will find my poem awesome. I think it's actually better than the secret love poems I have had her write for Michael (so that neither he nor Lilly would recognise my hand-writing).

I'm back from the net and I just can't stop crying. I really hate Lana! I have to find a way to get rid of her. It's all Mr. G.'s fault, he should never have slept with a witch (what I really mean is a word starting by b and rhyming with witch, only I'm too polite to write it down). He has produced a monster or even worse: a heartless selfish spoiled cheerleader! I so wish that something bad happened to Lana. Wouldn't it be great if she ended up like the mean woman in Laclos' "Dangerous Liaisons"? The one who catches that sexual disease and gets those disgusting marks on the face. She becomes so ugly that she has to hide so that people won't puke whenever they take a glimpse at her. That would really teach her.

So here's what happened. Tina was not online but I wrote to Kenny about Saturday afternoon. Then I noticed that I'd received 10 new messages. Most of them from people I didn't even know and then one from Lilly and one from Lana. Why would Lana need to write to me? I mean we live in the same house so she can speak directly to me if she needs to. Plus I don't think she'd have anything to tell me. So I first read Lilly's message, which was really strange (though Lilly is a strange person so…):

"Mia,

Forget about Lana's rambling. She's dumb, we all know that. 

She didn't realise it but what she did is great. You ought to be thankful!

See you in school tomorrow,

Lilly"

I had no clue what Lilly was speaking about. But I could guess that reading Lana's e-mail would help me figure it all. And that's what I did (I mean I read her e-mail) and since then I have been crying like hell. That b… -I mean witch- sent my poem to the whole school via e-mail. So Mr. G had not thrown it away after all. Thinking about it, I wish he had. God knows how Lana understood how to send an e-mail to the whole school (as Lilly said everybody knows she's not that bright) but she did anyhow. I just feel so bad. Everybody can now read my very private feelings. Plus as if it was not enough, Lana added some comments to it: 

"Hi ya guys, 

Take a look at our very own Princess's poem and see why she's the Queen of the freaks. Pathetic, heh? And she thinks she could be a writer, I bet. Plus Showalter, if I were you I'd wonder what she means by that last paragraph.

Lana

PS: Josh, I so dream that you would "kiss me like a drug, like a respirator". 

PPS: Hey Mia, you don't even have a car!"

I still can't believe it nor can I believe that Lilly actually dared say that what Lana did was great. "You ought to be thankfully"… she must be kidding me! Sometimes I wonder what's going on in Lilly's head. Anyway I think now would be a good time to move to Genovia. Grandmère will certainly think so as well when she finds out about my poem. And I sure am not going to school tomorrow. No way! Maybe I could fake being sick.


	3. Wake up Girl

Hello! I wrote another chapter already. See I have updated much quicker than last time! The thing is that I was totally down after the first chapter cause I didn't get that many reviews. So maybe my story is just not good enough for the majority of people visiting fanfiction.net. But now I have decided not to care so much. I have fun writing my story and there are still a few of you who seem to like it well enough and want to know what will happen next, so I keep going. I don't promise I will always update that quickly though. I still have a lot of work to do for my master thesis. (Also learning Finnish is not a piece of cake!). Anyhow I did some good work on my thesis this week, so I rewarded myself writing this PD fanfic chapter. Now I have just noticed that I wrote so much quicker on PD than on my thesis. So I feel a bit depressed again and also guilty cause I should have been writing thesis work instead of a fanfic! But oh well…

Thanks to **thevoicewithin** for encouraging me with my English and thesis work. I hope this time I updated quickly enough for you to remember what the story is about.

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Salytheseashorecrabshell, I agree with you: Lana is some seriously evil monkey poo. And unfortunately, I've met many Lana in my high school years. 

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Review-happy, hope you will be satisfied with what happens at school. Also Mia has to be dumb, otherwise PD would not be so funny!

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Nikki, thanks for your review too. It always makes me happy when someone reviews my story because it means at least some people have read it. :) 

BTW I am very bad at finding chapters' titles, if anyone comes up with a good suggestion, I would be more than happy.

DISCLAIMER- I still do not own any of Meg Cabot's characters. 

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I woke up today with a terrible nausea feeling. The good point is that if I vomit, I won't have to fake being sick (vomiting counts as being sick, doesn't it?!) meaning that I won't have to lie to mom. And since actually I'm not such a good liar… that could save me one. Plus I hardly slept last night and feel so exhausted now. I spent the whole night crying and worrying about what will happen if I'm forced to go to school today. Thankfully Fat Louie was here to comfort me. I love Fat Louie so much!!! Fat Louie is the person (ok I know he is a cat but still…) I love the most in the world. And Lana is the one I hate the most. Something I would really enjoy to watch is a wrestling fight of Lana vs. Grandmère. Grandmère would so totally win!

Speaking about Grandmère, I wish I could check for sure that she never told Lana she was her dream granddaughter! A little hard though since I can trust neither Lana nor Grandmère.

Oh I hear mom calling for me. I'll just lie still and wait until she worries and lets me stay home all day.

***

Ok so it didn't work out. Mom was not fooled at all. She said if I didn't hurry up and get dressed, I could go in pyjamas; and that she, for one, knew how it felt to be sick. Mom is having her mood swings again. And I'm telling you, she is very scary when she gets angry. I just wish she had been angry with Lana instead of me. After all I'm the nice one. Lana is the evil chick! Since faking sick didn't work, I tried to explain mom what Lana did to me yesterday evening and why I definitely can NOT go to class today. I almost succeeded into making her agree when I said that I'd rather spend a whole week alone with Grandmère than one more day at school with Lana. I could see the pity was really working in my favour. Unfortunately mom felt an urge to vomit just at that moment and when she came back from the bathroom she was in no mood to let me stay at home. She had totally forgotten about me being a miserable little ugly duck. In fact she was very Lilly like, "Mia, she said, you are not going to stay home and be a coach potato all your life! You need to be a little more assertive, you know. (I told you: totally Lilly like!) You thought your poem was good, so why do you now believe that everybody at school will laugh at you? Has it become bad just because Lana said it was? Plus the only person who will be happy if you stayed home would be Lana, because it would mean she did succeed to hurt you! (Come on mom! I too would be happy if I could stay home! Besides Lana did hurt me!) Now off you go! Oh and by the way, I'd like to read that poem too."

Yes, great mom! Whatever! Today will be so much fun… for Lana and all her friends and possibly for all the others at school as well. Not for ME! Now, they have one more reason to make fun of me. As if things were not already bad enough! Oh well… Things were possibly already so bad that it won't make any difference! Plus mom is right, I'm a great writer and I will not mind whatever they tell me! Yep! Who am I kidding?

***

WOW! I am in G&T now and, to be honest, things went better than I thought it would. I feel relieved now. Of course spending the day at school has not been a piece of cake. What with Lana and Josh and the gang of popular people! And it's not over yet so I fear the worst. But it started rather well. First of all, Lars had the brilliant idea to have the limo start just when Lana was trying to get in! Did she really think that I would let her come to school in my limo? As far as I'm concerned she can very well walk from home to school. Anyway… Lana was trying to climb in and Lars started the limo and… yes! Lana fell on the pavement! It was really awesome! Now she has a big ugly red scratch over her eyebrow and bruises are starting to show too. She tried to hide it all under her heavy make-up but it just makes her look worse. So I guess there is a god after all! Yep! Then we stopped at the Moscovitzes to take Lilly and Michael. Yes, he was there too, OMG he is so handsome! And smart too! Really, Lilly and Michael are so intelligent… they were having a little chat I didn't quite understand. Something about Michael's libidinous feelings and how his testosterone must have increased when he saw the limo coming. I mean I'm not that stupid that I wouldn't understand what is testosterone but I didn't know guys' testosterone rate could change when they saw cars. Though I know all guys are interested in cars, so that must be it: the view of cars can make testosterone increase, and then guys become all strange and all. I have to remember that, might come in a handy for biology class. Also at that point Michael blushed. I guess he must not have been very comfortable speaking about his testosterone in front of his little sister's best friend. But what does libidinous mean? I must check this one out in the dictionary this evening. Anyhow once in the car Lilly could not stop speaking about "Lana's little gift". I was quite upset about Lilly's attitude. I mean, I'm her best friend, she should be supportive. Instead she goes on and on for hours and hours about what Lana did and still claims that it was great. I was about to speak up my mind (yes, really, I was) but first Lilly didn't give me the opportunity to speak since she never closed her own mouth and then, well, we arrived at school. Michael didn't speak to me at all during the whole time we sat in the limo. I guess he read my poem and thinks I'm getting completely mental. But he grinned at me once or twice… Maybe there is a very little possibility that he didn't read his e-mails yesterday evening. Yes I know it's Michael we are speaking about… he is always behind his computer so he cannot but have read my poem. Plus Lilly kept on speaking about it and he didn't look surprised at all. So he must have read it. Maybe he was actually trying not to laugh and my wishful thinking transformed it all into imaginary grins. God, I'm so pathetic.

So Lilly and I headed for our first class (English). Many people were looking at me. Some made really bad jokes about my poem but some other congratulated me. That's why I didn't run to the toilets to cry. Yep, some people liked my poem and it felt great. And the best part is that Mrs Spears received it too and loved it. She said I have a real gift and she asked me if I would be interested to take part into the New York teenage poetry contest. I can't believe it! Even Mrs Spears thinks I'm gifted! Plus I will take part in a poetry contest. I so wish I could win it. Maybe Michael would then realise that I'm the love of his life. A part of me (a very optimistic part of me) wants to believe he likes me but has not realised it yet. I mean Judith might know how to clone flies but I can write poems (and they are not that bad either!). Things are going wonderfully well today…but wait… fat chance! Michael did read my poem and yet he didn't say a word about it. 

After that my mood dropped. Lana and Josh didn't help me much. Unfortunately Josh is no longer mad at Lana. They spent the whole day around my locker (Right, Josh's locker is near-by but that's not a reason, they could go make out somewhere else) and Lana was all "Oh Josh, please, please, please kiss me like a drug, like a respirator!" I hate Lana, I hate Lana, I hate Lana! 

Tina tried to comfort me by saying my poem was "really hot in a kind of sexy way" and that Michael could not but fall for me after this declaration of love. Hello… Michael doesn't even speak to me anymore! Then Tina added that one could see from my poem that I was terribly in need to be French kissed by a hot guy. Unfortunately Kenny arrived at that very moment! He must have thought that he was a hot guy (no way!) cause he tried to French kiss me in front of everybody. I gently pushed him away but it must not have been gentle enough since he looked at me all miserable before he started screaming (yes, I said screaming! That way everybody could hear it. Thanks so much Kenny!) that he couldn't understand me anymore, that he couldn't understand why I wouldn't let him French me, that the last part of my poem made absolutely no sense and that obviously I had serious issues, but that despite all that he loved me, yes he loved me, and hoped I could just explain it all to him in a clear way –no poem please! And he ran away. Tina said he went to the men's toilets to cry. God, I feel so bad. Poor Kenny! He didn't deserve a girlfriend like me! But really I don't think that explaining it all to him would help much. It would just break his heart even more. But what should I do then? Maybe I have to tell him the truth… I'm a monster, I'm almost as disgusting as Lana! But hello! Who does Kenny think he is? I am the one who's expected to run to the toilets and cry there for hours! Not him! 

After that I was not very hungry but Shameeka insisted that I needed to eat something so I joined all of my friends (Shameeka, Ling Su, Lilly, Tina, Boris + Wahim and Lars, but of course not Kenny, who was still in the men's toilets). We spent most of the time speaking about my poem. They all like it. Or maybe they just said so to be nice with me (after all, I'm their friend!). Tina actually feels like she should keep in touch with her artistic side as well. After all Lilly has a TV show, Ling Su is a great painter, Boris a famous violin player and Shameeka is a great dancer. Now with me writing poems, she feels a bit excluded. So she has decided she would start writing love stories. I think it's a great idea. I so would like to read a love story about Michael and I! 

After lunch, we went to the computer lab (not the one where the computer club people usually dwell. I was too afraid Kenny might be in there. And you could never know what he was up too: he could very well try to French me again or come to cry on my shoulder, maybe he would break up with me though –good point- but then he might propose as well! Uh!) Anyhow I checked my e-mails… What the hell! I received 350 e-mails since yesterday night. I guess most of them are about my poem. I wonder how many of these e-mails are mean. I'm not sure if I should delete them all or read them. Maybe some are nice. I'll have to take a decision tonight otherwise my e-box will explode. The only e-mails I've checked already were those I received from Michael. Yes, that's right, Michael sent me five e-mails yesterday evening. Five! Kenny sent me a few e-mails too but I just didn't feel like reading them! Michael's e-mails were short but they were so nice, they went like that:

e-mail #1:

__

Hey Thermopolis!

Pretty good writing! Why don't you publish your poems in the school newspaper?

Michael.

Michael liked my poem! Michael liked my poem! Michael liked my poem! If only he could also like me!

e-mail #2:

__

Yep, me again. I hope you're not too upset about what Lana wrote in that e-mail! Don't worry too much about how things will go at school tomorrow.

Lilly and I will wait for you in front of the building as usual.

Well I was terribly upset! Maybe I should have checked my e-mails yesterday night before going to sleep. I would not have worried so much about today then. Because I would have known already that Michael liked my poem! He likes my poem!!!!

e-mail #3:

__

BTW remember you're welcome home whenever you want!

So when are you coming over? 

Wow, he invited me again. I'm on cloud nine!

e-mail #4:

__

You know what… I think your poem would make a great song! :)

That is the best compliment I ever received. Especially coming from Michael who is a great musician, a great singer and a great writer of song lyrics (Tall Glass of Water is still my favourite song!) And it sure would make a great song if only Michael was singing it! His voice is so… sexy.

e-mail #5:

__

I have to work on Crackhead tomorrow during G&T so I won't be able to help you with your Algebra. But I could come by your place on Saturday so I could tutor you then. What do you say?

I almost fainted when I read that. I mean it's practically a date! I'm so excited! Except that:

- It cannot be counted as a date, Michael does it out of pity because I'm so bad in Algebra and I'm still his little sister's best friend. So almost like a sister for him. God, I want Michael to love me, but not in a sister/brother kind of way!

- If it were a date, he would have asked me out! He would not come to my place where obviously there will be my mom, Mr. G and Lana (still can't believe I have to share my home with that whor…horrible girl!) checking out what we are doing! Meaning: no way to make out! So the fact he picked up my place for tutoring me points out that he is not at all interested in me in a romantical sort of way. Back to the sister/brother love theory!

- I have to take Princess lessons Saturday afternoon. Bloody damn Grandmère!

Why is my life so miserable? … Though, Michael likes my poem! Yes, Michael likes my poem! I'm so happy!


	4. All the beautiful boys are forever taken

Hi girls! Thanks again for those of you who reviewed my story.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, all characters belong to Meg Cabot.

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Oh my gosh! I just checked the word libidinous in the dictionary:

****

Libidinous: Having or exhibiting lustful desires; lascivious.

Michael is a _limophile_! Disgusting! And I was dreaming all the time about how he and I could end up together. Was I ever more in the wrong? Michael has sexual desires for a car! I feel so depressed… or is it normal after all? I mean I already discovered the other day that cars kind of turned guys on but I had not realised that it meant they wanted to something to the car! Or am I too naive about the whole Men-and-their-hormones subject? 

I think I definitely need to discover more about men. The question is: HOW? 

I could ask mom but she might end up thinking I'm considering having sex with Kenny. The mere thought of it gives me nausea! Though she might force me to break up with him then. Yeah, in that case… maybe I'll speak about it with her. 

Of course I could also ask Lilly about it because, hell, she's bright and would certainly know already everything there is to know on the subject (Yep, that's called inborn knowledge). The problem is that she would make a fuss about it as she'd understand right away that this all about Michael. 

Grandmère certainly knows something on the subject too but hello! The idea of speaking about hormones with Grandmère gives me the creep. 

Dad? Way too uncomfortable for me to mention that kind of subject with him. 

Kenny? He would think I'm interested in him in that way (Sorry but I think I need to puke). 

Maybe Shameeka? She really knows a lot about men. Or Tina, not that she has experience in the field but she reads so many romantic novels… Hum, now that I think about it. I know who is a real expert on the field: Lana Weinberger! But there's no way I will ever ask her anything about that. I mean it would just give her one more opportunity to make fun of me. And I couldn't trust what information she gives to me either.

In fact, life with Lana has become more and more hellish. Who would have thought it was possible? Wait a second… me! Mr. G. has grounded her for a week because of that sexual conversation she's had with Josh over the phone. And Lana has been raging ever since. And of course I'm the victim of her bad mood because she can't do much about mom and Mr. G, so she takes her revenge on me. In one week she's succeeded in making my life a total misery. Her first attempt to ridicule me was rather a failure because many people happened to like my poem and now I'm writing for a poetry contest thanks to her. But she certainly succeeded with the rest. Here's the list of what she did to me:

- She stole my T-shirt in sports. I actually had no clue who had done it until she gave it back to me yesterday evening. She's used it to wax her shoes! The T-shirt is dead and it was one of my favourites.

- She told the whole school that the reason why I don't have breasts is that I, in fact, am a guy. Yes, that's true (I mean true that she said that, not true that I'm a guy!), and some people now really believe that I have a little something in between my legs. Yeesh.

- She stole my queen Amidala panties and brought them to school where she nailed them in the cafeteria. Actually almost nobody has had time to see them because Michael was in the cafeteria at that time and he took them away from her. Michael is way stronger and smarter than she is so there's no way she could have fought him back. Anyway I almost died out of shame when Michael handed them back to me. He did that very discreetly thankfully. He's so wonderful, and cute and adorable and sexy! Only, I almost had a heart attack when he asked me if we could meet secretly behind the school at the end of the day. I was on cloud nine for three hours. God, I'm so pathetic! I thought he was going to ask me out. So it was some kind of a shock when he handed me the Amidala Queen outfit. And now Michael has one more reason to see me only as his little sister's best friend because, hello, wearing Queen Amidala panties doesn't make me look like a hot attractive woman but instead like a baby girl! 

To make things even better, he then left with Judith Greshner! Great!

- Michael came to tutor me on Saturday morning (I had told him that I had princess lessons in the afternoon so he actually offered to come over in the morning. This guy sure loves Algebra! I mean I can't see any other reasons why he would wake up so early on a Saturday morning to tutor me). Anyway. Lana was home and she kept bugging us calling us "lovebirds" and asking if Kenny knew I was a two-timer kind of person. She even called him to ask what he thought about me dating Michael Moscovitz when he is away. I then had to explain to Kenny that Michael and I are just friends and we were doing nothing else than Algebra (which is not totally true because I didn't listen to a single word Michael said about Algebra. No, I was too busy looking at his lips and dreaming about us kissing passionately. Also how could I concentrate when all I can feel is Michael's leg against mine?)

For a second I thought I could just let Kenny believe Michael and I were going out. That way he would definitely break up. Only I could not but deny it since Michael could hear everything. He would have been far too disgusted if he had heard me say we are indeed an item. Anyhow Michael left very soon after that and I'm sure he will never come home again to tutor me. Lana is such a pain in the ass! I'm not even sure he will keep on tutoring me in G&T. I just hope he will still speak to me.

- And the worst of it all… she shaved Fat Louie. Poor Fat Louie! How can someone be so cruel to an innocent little (uh… fat!) cat? There isn't a single hair left on him. He looks so miserable and –yes, I have to admit it- somewhat ugly. I cried so much when I discovered it. So now Lana is grounded for one more week but I don't know if I should be happy about that… Cause it means she will be in the house all the time and so more torturing to come for both Fat Louie and I. Why on earth don't they let her go live with Josh? Oh and I forgot about the good news! Lana's mother just called to tell they are going to spend two extra weeks in Europe! Yippee! We should all go out and celebrate this piece of news. Maybe we could lose Lana somewhere on the way.

So enough is enough! I might be unassertive but I cannot stand it anymore. Something has to be done. 

From now on my life is going to change. Here is the list of things I will do:

#1 Sleepover at Lilly's. That will give me a break. And there are chances to see Michael without a T-shirt. Yummy!

#2 Summon an emergency meeting with all of my friends so we can come up with an idea to get rid off Lana! If that is possible…

#3 Write a wonderful poem for the Poetry contest

#4 Break up with Kenny

#5 Tell Michael I love him

I did a love test on the net today to see if Michael and I could be an item. And yes! We have a score of 84%. Isn't that great? Though I also checked Lana and Josh out of curiosity and they have a better score than Michael and I: 88%. It's so totally unfair! Although it is actually true that they are perfect for each other as they are both equally vain. I also checked out the score Kenny and I get. It turns out we actually have 0% of compatibility and our relationship is doomed. I knew it long before I took the test though, as it doesn't take a genius to notice that. I mean the fact that I actually always want to puke whenever I think about Kenny's lips and tongue (not that I think about those a lot but of course I sometimes have to. Like when I see his mouth getting near mine!) was a good clue.

#6 Tell Grandmère that I quit Princess lessons.

When I will have achieved all of these resolutions, I'll be a new me! However, I think I can forget about objectives 5 and 6! 

***

Oh my god! My life is over! I had the most embarrassing evening ever. It had started rather well though. I went to Lilly's for the sleepover as I had planed to. Of course, I made mom promise she would look after Fat Louie and protect him from Lana's attacks before I left. I actually felt guilty leaving him home with that monster, but I so needed a break. 

As usual Michael was not wearing any shirt and looked terribly hot. And he didn't seem that disgusted about me anymore. I bet he has already forgotten everything about Lana's accusations of us being lovebirds. I wish I could have forgotten too but seeing as I love Michael, I can't forget how great it was to hear someone (be it Lana!) call us lovebirds.

Anyhow Lilly decided that we would all be going to the movies so she called everybody and we decided to meet in front of the movie theatre. Now, it did sound like a great idea to me… until I realised that she had invited Kenny to join us as well. Which meant that I was going to spend one hour and forty-five minutes trying to avoid physical contact (or more precisely lips and tongue contact) with Kenny. Great! Not to mention the fact that Michael asked Judith to come along. 

I took comfort in the idea that at least Lana was not going to be there, seeing as she is grounded home. Or at least that's what I thought! But the first thing I saw when we got there was a couple making out. And they sure looked like Josh and Lana! As far as I know Lana doesn't have a twin sister nor does she have a clone (thanks god!) so there was no doubt left: it was indeed Lana. I guess Mom and Mr. G. couldn't stand her anymore and allowed her to go out so they could have one peaceful evening. It does seriously bug me though. I mean Lana is everywhere these days: school, home, movies… if it goes on I will end up finding her in my bed. How gross! 

Anyway we managed to sit far enough from each other… and I ended up sitting in between Kenny and Michael. Lars was just behind me. I must definitely thank him for 1) letting Michael sit on my left and 2) scaring Kenny out of the idea of kissing me. Meaning that I could indeed watch the movie instead of stressing about Kenny's lips. As a matter of fact I completely forgot about Kenny though he was still holding my right hand. I totally forgot about Judith Greshner too. I just enjoyed the movie (and the smell of Michael sitting by my side). And it was not before the end of the movie that I realised that I had been squeezing Michael's hand during most of the movie. How embarrassing! I just hoped nobody noticed. I mean except Michael since there is no way he can't have noticed. I wonder what he must have thought? Anyhow I panicked, pulled my hand away very quickly and uttered: "Sorry Michael… it's just… the movie was so scary, you know… didn't realise what I was doing!" Which was kind of lame because the movie wasn't THAT scary! Plus I was also holding Kenny's hand (or rather Kenny was also holding my hand), which should have been enough… Michael was about to answer something but at that point Kenny, who was still holding my right hand, pulled me out of the room. I thought he was about to make a scene since he seemed in such a hurry to leave the room, but it turned out that he just wanted to French kiss me while Lars was in the bathroom. I guess that means he didn't notice me holding Michael's hand. I pretended I'd sprained my ankle. Apparently I am a good actress cause he stopped to look at it. The fact that I was crying in pain might have helped my acting. (What he didn't know is that I was in fact crying because of the holding-hands-with-Michael incident, not because of my completely healthy and pain-free ankle). But my plan worked: Lars sure did have time to come back from the bathroom before Kenny could find the opportunity to French me! Phew!

And now I'm in the limo on my way to the Moscovitzes', with Michael and Lilly. Neither Michael nor I are speaking but Lilly didn't notice anything at all since she is too busy speaking all the time, as usual. This time I am sitting in between Michael and Lilly (Great improvement on that side. I mean I'd choose Lilly over Kenny any day and no, I'm not interested in girls!). I must say that I have terrible difficulties resisting the temptation of squeezing Michael's hand again. I think this will be a very very long night…


	5. Dumb Girl

Thanks again to my reviewers (I got only three for chapter 4… bouhouhou! -- in case you wonder… that's me crying!) But these are three very nice reviews! :) Thank you girls for reviewing almost each time. Oh and I lost **Saltytheseashorecrabshell! :( Damn! Hope I won't lose any more of my reviewers! Oh and **Review-happy**, I am still curious about your change of schedule! Are you completely sure you don't want to rewrite your story? **Literary Lover**, hurry up and update your fic soon!**

**Thevoicewithin**… you're so plite it is sweet!

Oh and **Luindalwen and ****Jessica (who reviewed my chapter 3) thanks to you too. It made me happy.**

Maybe I need a little break with the fanfic though (I guess I will update soon enough anyhow). I feel like a lazy %&!* for not studying more. Oh and I also almost called my boyfriend Michael this morning! I don't think he would have been happy.

DISCLAIMER-  I own nothing, everything belongs to Meg Cabot

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No sooner had we entered the Moscovitzes' apartment than Lilly pulled me to her room. I could see Michael was about to protest or at least comment on something since he opened his mouth, but Lilly cut him right away: 

"And no Michael, you can't join us, we just want to be by the two of us for a little while. Why don't you get friends of your own for once? 

Of course you're allowed to mope around half naked in the house as much as you want… but Mia is not going to see your love parade as she'll be busy editing an episode of "Lilly Tells It Like It Is" in my very own room. 

And let me remind you that my door will be closed. Now, have a good night!"

At that both Michael and I blushed furiously… Love parade, I thought, what love parade? What the hell is Lilly speaking about? Holy crap! Lilly must have seen me squeezing Michael's hand in the movie theatre. She must have some super powers allowing her to see every single thing I do. Michael is so ashamed he is now as red as a tomato.  

Meaning he will never want to be my friend anymore! I hate my life!

But to my surprise, Lilly did not mention anything about the incident anymore. She was all focused on her episode of "Lilly Tells It Like It Is" and we spent the whole evening editing it. Locked in her room. Which sadly meant no Michael at all. But that was a relief too as things have become terribly awkward between us. I am still wondering why he let me hold his hand though…

***

My life S-U-C-K-S. And let me tell you it sucks even more after a long sleepless night spent worrying about my life while listening to Lilly's snoring.  So now I am totally dead and will most certainly pass out during Algebra. (Note to myself: next time I can't sleep, must read Algebra notes. Guaranteed to dose off after 15 minutes or so reading them) and I have gigantic black rings around my eyes. They are like two big pockets. I'm not kidding. They are so huge; one could put a wallet in there. 

I couldn't sleep because I was obsessing over a certain person… And this person was not:

- Lilly, though she snored.

- Lana, though she is such a … well… some kind of a chicken (poulette or cocotte as Grandmère would put it)

- Grandmère, though I happen to have Princess lessons in less than 24 hours.

- Mr. G., though he is planning an Algebra test for the end of the week.

- Kenny, though I sometimes have nightmares about him and I still haven't come up with an idea on how not to be too cruel while breaking his heart.

No! That certain person was Michael Moscovitz, Lilly's older brother and the person I have loved since, like, the beginning of MY ENTIRE LIFE.

And the thing is … I think Michael likes me. Which is really a great thing! Knowing that, I should be able to spend the best night ever in my whole life. Only I am not so sure about it. I mean why should he like me? 

List of the reasons why Michael CAN'T like me:

- I'm a freshman

- I am his little sister's best friend.

- I have no breasts.

- My feet are so big, I could get sold to a circus as a living attraction.

- I'm a princess. (Definitely not cool. Especially knowing that the whole princess package includes a lunatic grandmère).

- Lana Weinberger is kind of my stepsister.

- I don't know how to clone flies.

- I have no clue what Algebra is about. And  -worse- I hate it!

- I'm totally unassertive.

- He calls me Thermopolis and not Mia.

- He has a girlfriend who is a senior, knows how to clone flies, was good in Algebra, is co-valedictorian, has been accepted to Colombia early decision (just like Michael), is in the computer club, has breasts and small feet, is not related in any way to either Lana or Grandmère, and last but not least is not a princess!!!

- Oh and he is attracted to my car!

Lists of the reasons why I think Michael likes me:

- He never wears a T-shirt when I come over. (Agreed that he very possibly never wears any T-shirt when he is home)

- He helps me with my Algebra. 

- He does not look disgusted when our knees brush accidentally (though he certainly looked disgusted when Lana called us Lovebirds)

- He is almost always nice to me. (ok, I know Michael is almost always nice to EVERYBODY)

- He played and sang Tall Glass of Water for me. (still hoping he never played anything to Judith)

- He harassed me sexually once (or so Lilly said but to be honest I didn't notice anything).

- And most importantly he let me hold his hand for 80 minutes while we were at the movies. I mean if he had been so disgusted wouldn't he have pushed it away? Might have not remembered on each side Judith was though. Then again, didn't she try to French him during the movie? If Michael had been my boyfriend, I certainly would have been more interested in Michael's lips than in the movie).

And I did spend the whole night trying (trying very hard indeed) to figure out some other reasons why Michael might like me. Couldn't find any! So I had to reach the following conclusion: Michael didn't like me and I was a sick person always obsessing about him when I, anyhow, had a boyfriend. 

It was dawn when I finally fell asleep.

***

Oh my God! I'm so shocked! I saw something I should not have seen… and I don't regret any of it. It was even more exciting than that time when Lilly and I read that Emanuelle magazine. I'm still like shivering all over.

When I got up this morning, there was nobody in the Moscovitzes' apartment. Which was kind of scary. I just felt like Macaulay Culkin in "Home alone" (Half-excited, half terrified!). I searched the house desperately (I mean they could have been kidnapped by aliens.  Or worse, they could have eaten some toxic mushrooms and suffered from collective illusions, leading them to go drown themselves in the sea! Losing at once both my best friend and the love of my life would be a terrible, terrible thing! It's the kind of things I wish would happen to Lana though). 

I finally found a note from Lilly saying they were gone to the hospital because their aunt had had a car accident. Apparently they didn't want to wake me up. I guess this comes as part of royalty… like I'm being privileged (for once it's being useful…). The note said they'd be back around 10 or 10.30, which left me at least one hour free. And of course the first idea I got was to go into Michael's room. 

Don't take me wrong… I am not a voyeur I just wanted to see if he had kept my secret love poems. I did not, at first, intend to take a look at anything else in his room. But I was kind of forced by the circumstances. Honestly, it was all an accident!

So I went in the room and there were the two love poems, on his desk. Isn't that awesome? It means so much to me to see he hasn't thrown them away. Anyway I went on his bed (I so wanted to lay still where Michael had been sleeping only a few hours before and smell the scent he left on his pillow) and I must have dosed off because I suddenly woke up, as the entrance door was struck opened. 

I panicked and ran to hide into Michael's closet. Which was kind of stupid because I couldn't stay in there forever. Lilly would be searching for me. And Lilly was not one to give up. How embarrassing would it be to be found in Michael's closet? 

Just when I was having second thoughts I heard someone open the door of Michael's room. "Hopefully it will be Maria, the house cleaner, I though, I know she could keep it a secret if I explained to her how crazy in love I am". With that in mind, I took a look through the closet keyhole. 

Oh my god! There was Michael! …And he was getting naked! Now being a very well educated young lady, I would not, by all accounts, have looked at his nudity any longer. Or at least that's what Grandmère would believe. I did genuinely intend NOT to look at the scene. Only I was kind of paralysed… it must have been the fright… cause my hands became all sweaty and my heart started to pound loudly.  I felt some kind of fever overcoming me. And for one crazy moment I wished I had taken Lilly's video camera with me.

And now (two hours later) I'm still blushing like hell whenever I think about what I saw. How will I survive G&T where I most certainly will have to face Michael? I mean I was already terribly embarrassed about the whole holding-hands-with-Michael incident but now… Wow! I can tell my obsessing over Michael is not going to end anytime soon! 

Well at least next time we have a girl evening and the girls are all "I see fireworks when I get Frenched" or "I went 2nd base with Boris/Dave/Daryl", I'm not going to feel as retarded and left out as usual. Yep! I will be able to show off saying I have seen a boy naked. 

Except that, seeing that I don't seem to be able to hold my mouth when Lilly is around and especially not when it's about something I must absolutely NOT mention… I might end up saying something as stupid as "Well I saw your brother completely naked" or "Michael's body is sure hot and I can assure you I have seen it all". 

But back to my closet! 

Seeing Michael all naked sure could be considered as the best event of the whole century. But what happened next was even better. So Michael took some other clothes and got dressed again (Good things never last forever!) and left the room. I heard him call my name: 

"Thermopolis! Where are you?" "Thermopolis?" 

"Mia? …Shit! I can't believe she left already! It would have been the perfect timing for us to have this little chat. Oh well!" After that he left the house. 

Apparently the rest of the family was not back yet. I had to hurry and get back to Lilly's room. So I rushed out of the closet and… tripped over a box (Thanks god Grandmère was not here cause I so didn't fall in a princessy way). The box flew opened. I picked it up and tried to put everything back in as quickly as possible. Among various objects, there were:

- my poem which Michael had apparently printed out

- a page of a newspaper where I could be seen modelling for Sebastiano (I'm still angry when I think about that and thinking that Grandmère always gets what she wants! Hum maybe I should ask her advice on how to get rid off Lana), 

- numerous pictures of me with Lilly 

- including one of me and Michael at the dance (taken on the very evening I dumped Josh. Wow. It is so awesome to be able to say so: I dumped Josh! Hehe!) 

- and also a picture of the whole gang at Halloween. And I just noticed it… Michael has drawn horns on Kenny's head and spots all over his face. That was so funny! Oops! Am I not like supposed to take my boyfriend's defence?

This could only mean one thing: Michael did LIKE me!!! I suddenly felt like jumping around and singing. I could have gone out and screamed I loved Michael to the whole world. But my senses came back to me as I remembered that:

- I had a boyfriend

- Michael had a girlfriend (though Lilly claims Judith and Michael are not going out… But duh, I'm not blind!)

- Lilly would kill us if she realised we like each other

- I am not assertive enough to confess my love to Michael while facing him.

I got a pretty good idea though; I grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled a love poem to Michael. However I didn't write my name or anything! Every woman should know that it is far too risky to send a signed love letter. You never know where it might end up. Anyway Michael being a genius and all he will certainly understand it's from me.

Duh… I have been the only girl sleeping in his apartment last night! (Lilly excepted but she's his sister so that doesn't count. How gross would it be if your sister wrote you a love poem? Yeesh.) So it won't be that hard to guess who the author is! But what if he thinks Judith wrote it! Nay… she wouldn't write Michael a love poem after discovering he likes me! I don't think she is THAT sick! Plus I'm known for writing poems! Judith is known for torturing flies!

I'm at school now. I'm so stupid, I forgot today was a school day and missed all the morning classes and I have no excuse… meaning I'll have to go to detention this evening. Great! And guess who got the idea: Mr. G! I mean I'm family to him and he sends me to detention. And guess who else will be in detention: Lana! I can't ever have one minute peace without her. 

It's ok though. I'm still on cloud nine. I'm so excited! I can't wait for Michael to discover the poem! Though I have had second thoughts about it… Why the hell did I write it in French? I mean as bright as Michael is, he doesn't speak French fluently. Actually the only language I'm sure he knows besides English is the language of mathematics! What if he doesn't understand what it is about? Will I have to sneak back into his room to leave another poem?

But enough stressing for now, I've got to go to; my friends are waiting for me. I set up an emergency meeting on the theme: How to get rid off Lana.


	6. Did you see the latest Vogue?

Hiya girls! First of all THANKS for all those who REVIEWED. I love you! 

I have to start with small talks as usual: 

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Daydreamer-022: Thanks again for reading it.

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Denise: (I call you Denise because I'm afraid you might switch your pseudo again): so what do you think the trouble with love is?

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Literati Lover: I owe you an apology for completely misspelling you pseudo last time. I'm so sorry. BTW when will you update your story?

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Review-happy: I sympathise with you having to wait for your brother! Oh and yes "every girl needs time to plan how to *accidentally* bump into their crush" but sometimes the plan doesn't turn out to be as subtle as one had thought. I remember one of my friends used to constantly tour around the school so that she could accidentally bump into her crush or then she could just have the chance to spy on him one more time. Well, he started to notice it and he didn't like it that much: so ok, once she literally run after him cause she'd missed him on her school touring and it totally freaked him out… So please girls be subtle or then be straightforward but avoid running after your crush like a dog after its dog. It's not all that pretty. (Though I have to admit it was really funny, from my point of view).

On the other hand, in High school I had that crush for that guy and he noticed it and yes he avoided me for a few months. But who came begging me to become his girlfriend in the end? Yep, you got it! He did. (Right, I dumped him a year later even though he was still begging me to stay… but I had spent a wonderful vacation month in NY and hadn't missed him even one second. Actually I was too busy having a crush on that other guy who also happened to be slightly younger than I was. Uh… am I perverted?)

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Marieke: Happy to hear you liked my story. I hope your computer didn't suffer bad damages after you spat on it. I also I hope your drink didn't go out from your nose (sorry) because that would be terribly painful (I know what I'm speaking about).

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Jenimo: (Are** Jenimo **and** J **the same person BTW?) Thanks for your support. So I'm gonna try to follow your piece of advice (see under).

Announcement: My chapter was a bit too long so I split it into 2. I can post chapter 6 and a half (because it is a bit shorter than my usual chapters I call it chapter 6 and a half) very very soon if you **REVIEW** this one. (Yes, it's true, I confess it all: I love reviews, so please, please, review!)

DISCLAIMER: See all previous chapters. I'm tired of writing it down.

* * *

We are on the roof of the school right now. We = Lilly, Tina, Shameeka, Ling Su, Boris, Lars, Wahim and I. No Kenny! Yippee! 

Does that mean I at last have succeeded in breaking the news to him about my total lack of love for him?

Of course! NOT! No, he is not here with us because, well, he caught a cold. To be honest hearing he was sick made me happy! I know it sounds kind of mean. I, being his girlfriend should be worried about him. But I am finding that incredibly hard. Why? Oh yes why on earth can't I be a little more compassionate with the poor guy seeing that I'm already about to break his heart? Well it has all to do with the way he fell sick. It turns out he spent two whole hours trying to play a serenade under my very window (on the fire escape, to be more precise). And when I say trying, I'm actually being nice. I mean the guy doesn't know how to play music, he cannot sing either! But worse… I was not even home yesterday. Right, I was sleeping at Lilly's! Meaning I didn't hear a single note of his serenade. Not that I regret it anyhow. Now knowing all that, I would normally have felt terribly sorry for Kenny… if only he had not been screaming every two sentences that he loved me. I mean did he realise he was about to ruin my whole life when he screamed that he loved me? Had he forgotten that Lana does happen to live with me nowadays? Had he forgotten that Lana is evil? And now she's making my life a living hell! Not much change there though… 

Anyhow as I was saying, we are now on the roof of the school. Why the roof? Easy: because there is never a single popular person around here. Which means we can be at peace to discuss our hatred of Lana. And so I started the debate:

"Ok… As you all know we are here to find out a way to get rid of Lana. So who's got an idea? Please, guys, I need you to help me…. Anybody?"

"Uh, Tina started hesitantly, maybe we could set her up with some new guy. You know love makes people happy and nice."

At which Lilly jerked "We'd better set up Josh with another girl. If Lana gets jealous besides being humiliated, she'll be far too busy obsessing over Josh and the new girl -not to mention dreaming about revenge- to remember about your whole existence".

"Well, I answered, you might be right but there are two problems: first we don't know who to set up Josh with, secondly, I have already noticed that when Lana is angry she kind of takes even more pleasure in torturing me. Like I'm her scapegoat or something. I just can't take anymore of that".

"Why don't we just lock her in the supply closet?" Boris offered. 

Now, I appreciate Boris' help but one has to be realistic: his idea couldn't stand a chance. It was ok for a short-term riddance but Lana was bound to be found (duh… she has a cell-phone! She could call her so popular friends any minute to rescue her. Sure it would be a bit humiliating for her to be found in there. But she'd soon be back home torturing me). I could see why Boris had come up with this idea though, obviously he wouldn't have had to spend the next G&T hour in the supply closet if Lana was already in there.

"Uh, Boris, do you mean you want to share your closet with Lana during G&T?" I said. Ok, I was being a bit mean. But I had to practice as I was going to break up with Kenny in the evening. Lilly didn't like it though. She glared at me angrily. I really don't understand how she can be so protective of someone who tucks his shirt in his trousers! On the other hand she is friend with me who is both a freak and a princess so…I can't say much. 

Anyhow I apologised to Boris and we carried on with the discussion. Everybody came up with more crazy ideas. Ling Su tried to talk us into sending Lana to a beauty contest which would take place in Alaska (not such a bad idea actually). Shameeka thought that we should find a way to discreetly cut Lana's hair. The idea made us all giggle and, yes it's true that it would be funny – we could give her such a horrid hairdo that even her friends would avoid her- but that would one more time backfire at me so we eventually decided against it. After that I joked about how great it would be if she had to take princess lessons (but hey… who could survive one hour with Grandmère?). 

According to Lars, we could try to have Lana judged and jailed under Genovian laws (under a case of disrespect followed by moral and physical assaults towards the heir to the throne.) Wahim added that it would be much quicker and much simpler to just shoot her. He actually scared me when he said that. I just hadn't realised before how dangerous Wahim could be. I know he was just joking but still… I mean I hate Lana but not THAT much! It got me wondering if Wahim had a personal grudge against her. 

Then Boris came up with a second idea. Obviously watching TV can have some really bad effects on teenagers. Even great series like, say, Baywatch could have some negative repercussions. Why do I mention Baywatch? Well surely because Boris had been watching the very same Baywatch episode I had watched a few days ago. Otherwise how would he have come up with this crazy idea of hiding drugs into Lana's belongings so that it'd be discovered and she'd be sent to detoxication centre? Lilly was not too pleased by Boris' idea though. "Oh yeah, she inquired sharply, and where would we get those drugs? The only thing we have is Mia's codeine medicine! I am not sure that would do it!"

"Uh… Boris, I added, we are not going to do anything illegal. It's far too dangerous! I am not sure what we'll risk but it would certainly be big. Plus when I said I wanted to get rid of Lana, I was not thinking about something so drastic. (I gave a meaningful look at Wahim when I said that.)

"Yes, but you have to be realistic Mia, Shameeka intervened, we'll never get rid of Lana if we keep behaving like saints."

Oh! Hold on! I certainly am not a saint. If I were a saint, I would not be plotting against Lana, nor would I be about to ditch my boyfriend while dreaming about my best friend's older brother… Still I believe all living creatures deserve a little respect. And Lana does certainly qualify as a living creature, be it the less worthy of all.

"What about taping a special episode of "Lilly Tells It Like It Is" in which we'd follow Lana and expose her true self to the whole world (Lilly literally beamed when she heard that. But the truth is very few people do actually watch her show)" said a pretty excited Ling Su (apparently she really enjoys the plotting game). Tina was of the same opinion: "Yes! If we can get her making out on tape with Josh, maybe she'll be sent to boarding school."

Unfortunately I had to cut it to them "Sorry to disappoint you girls, but everybody already knows about the whole Lana/Josh making out topic… I remind you that Mr. G. is a teacher here and he cannot but have noticed what's going on. Plus he already surprised her speaking about sex with Josh on the phone. Yet Lana has not been sent to boarding school! So taping her would hardly change anything".

But I could see a Machiavellian light in Lilly's eyes. "It is still worth a try. I mean it sure would be interesting to be able to psychoanalyse Lana on some quality show such as "Lilly Tells It Like It Is". With a little chance we could get her to say bad things about her popular friends or find a way to ridicule her…"

And that's how we agreed to try several strategies. Ling Su would be searching for some very-far-away-set-beauty-contest brochures to send to Lana. Tina would search for a potential new Mrs Richter (preferably a popular witch) and Lilly would start recording.

* * *

The rest of the day went rather smoothly. Or at least until G&T. I was still on cloud nine because Michael loved me. I started working on my poem for the poetry contest. Nobody mentioned our down-with-Lana plotting anymore, but I couldn't help myself smiling evilly whenever Lana crossed my way. I could see she was puzzled. She's not used to that kind of behaviour from me. I usually duck away when she is around. Actually the whole Scooby-gang was wearing a huge smile on their face for the rest of the day (I think I speak for everyone if I say we were all dreaming about 1001 ways to get at Lana). I was also happy cause I didn't need to worry about Kenny suddenly lurking in and screaming "I love you". To make things even better Judith Greshner miraculously kept out of my way (and out of my sight) for the entire day, and, best of all, Michael came to tutor me as usual during G&T. The only problem was: I had never been that red before. Which Michael kind of noticed. So embarrassing! He didn't seem to interpret it in the correct kind of way, though:

Michael: Uh Thermopolis, don't take it badly but you are terribly red. Are you feeling OK?

Me: Sure! I'm just hot today!

__

Oh my god! That was kind of ambiguous. I hope Michael didn't pick it up.

Me: Uh. I mean, it's so hot in here, maybe I should open the window.

Michael (with a worried face): I'm afraid you might have fever… It's not that hot in here. I'd better bring you to the nurse.

Me: No, no, I'm fine! I swear. It's Algebra. It makes me feel bad.

Micheal: Algebra makes you feel bad? You're tomato red because of Algebra? No way… Mia, be honest… are you on codeine again? 

__

Oh no! Not that again! Won't they ever forget about that codeine incident? 

Me: No I'm not. Algebra! Algebra is the problem!

__

As if! But duh how could I concentrate when all I could think about was Michael's naked body. 

Michael: Um, I think I know what is your problem.

Me: You do?

Michael: Yes, you don't actually believe I've forgotten what happened, do you?

__

What the hell is Michael speaking about? It can't be about the poem. No, cause he was already gone when I left it and he didn't go back since. Or does he know I saw him naked? How could he know about that? 

Me: So… you noticed?

Michael: I don't see how I could NOT have.

Me: Really? But… but you didn't say anything. You just left.

Michael: Well it was kind of inappropriate considering the situation. And… there was no time to speak about it.

Me: But you didn't feel shocked or angry or…?

Michael: Not shocked, no! Maybe a bit angry, though.

Me: Michael, I'm so sorry. I just couldn't help it. I don't know what went over me.

Michael: Don't worry too much about that Thermopolis. When I said angry I meant…

Me: Please, forgive me! I so totally understand why you are mad at me. It might sound like I'm asking too much but… could we still be friends?

__

Michael seemed a bit surprised to hear that. He even looked sad… I guess he was terribly disappointed because I (the girl he had had a crush on – Yep, I guess I can use past tense from now on) turned out to be a voyeur.

Michael: …friends? Oh…. Ok… I see. Yeah, sure, let's be friends!

__

I could tell right away that he wasn't convinced by what he said. I guess he'd rather avoid all contact with me altogether. Why did this have to happen to me? Just when I was about to be happy, my hopes get crushed again. Why is it that all bad things come to me as if I was a magnet (Yep I guess I could change my name as Princess Misfortune Magnet)? I mean whatever it is that I did wrong in my previous life, I think I received enough punishment already. After all my life is now squeezed between Lana and Grandmère. Isn't that cruel enough? This time it's my entire fault though. If I had behaved myself, if I had been the princess Grandmère wants me to be, I would still have a chance with Michael. My eyes filled up with tears.

Me: I screwed up, didn't I? Now you don't even want to be my friend anymore.

Michael: No, Mia! Please don't cry! I really do want to be your friend. And it's not like a big deal. You were afraid and you squeezed my hand. No problem! I mean the movie didn't seem all that scary to me but hey I'm a guy and I'm older as well. You don't have to be ashamed for what you felt and did.

__

I stopped crying right away. So he was not speaking about the closet incident (or should I call it strip tease incident?) but about the holding-hands one! Oh my god! I am so dumb! How could I not have thought about it? 

Me: Oh! So that was what you were speaking about? I thought you…

__

Shut up Mia! I can't believe it. Am I really that stupid? I guess the answer is YES.

Michael (suspiciously): Yeah. What did you think I was speaking about?

Me (nostrils flaring): Um… nothing.

Michael: Come on Thermopolis, spit it out!

Me (all sad): Were you really angry at me about… well you know… about what I did at the movies? 

__

I had to be careful not to speak too loudly as Lilly was glaring at us meanly from the other side of the room where she was planning out her special Lana episode of "Lilly Tells It Like It Is".

Michael: Not at you! At the whole situation and… at Kenny especially.

Me (sheepishly. Hey that could be the moment when he confesses how much he loves me): at Kenny?

Michael: Well yes because…. 

Me (redder than ever): because? 

Michael: Because he is your boyfriend…. And so he should take care of you. But he didn't noticed how scared you were. And since I'm both your friend and your best friend's older brother, I feel a bit concerned about what happens to you. In a … friendly and fraternal kind of way! You see... So I thought I could state how lame Kenny's behaviour was. And it's also his fault that you hurt your leg. _As I said, I really am a good actress. Even a genius like Michael didn't realise I was faking it… Hollywood, here I come!_

Me (somewhat vexed): Ah…

Michael: And don't take me wrong. It's not against you or your boyfriend. But friends are usually expected to tell what they think. And I'm your friend, right?

Me… Right.

__

Now I had to be courageous and tell him how I felt about him right away.

Me: Actually Michael…. I think I must be honest with you on that subject. I…

Michael: You?

Me: I… I am not in love with Kenny. You are the one I… should listen to. 

__

Coward! I'm a terrible coward!

Michael (happily): That's great to hear.

Me: Yes. And I think I'll break up with Kenny tonight.

__

I can't wait for Michael to discover my poem! I wonder what he will do when he sees it. I am going to die waiting…


	7. Has it ever occured to you aka 6 & half

So it didn't really work as I got only 4 reviews so far. Damn! But anyhow I'm updating now on behalf of my being so nice and all and wanting to please my nice lovely reviewers. (BTW Saltythe… -sorry I'm being lazy- Yeah you're back! Oh and what did you mean by "PF!"? Sorry if it sounds terribly stupid and should be obvious but I really have no clue. Oh and Robtaymatlouned, you made my day! I mean because I so love your stories, it had to make me really happy when you said mine was cute. Thumbs up for both Marieke and Reveiw-happy as well! :)

Keep reviewing so I feel like updating!

Oh. And DISCLAIMER: I shamefully stole Meg Cabot's characters! 

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I always knew breaking up with Kenny would not be an easy task. I just hadn't realise it would be that difficult. I think rule #1 should be: never break up at your boyfriend's place. Unfortunately I didn't follow this rule. No, I went to see Kenny right after Princess lessons. Which was really a bad idea, because hello who happens to live in the Showalter mansion? Well… surprise, surprise: the whole Showalter family! And you hardly want to break up with your boyfriend when all his family is listening... Plus the first thing Mrs. Showalter did when she saw me was to scream and hug me. Apparently she was delighted to meet me at last. "Oh Mia, she said, holding me so tightly I actually was about to suffocate, I'm so happy to meet you. Kenny never stops speaking about you. It's such a sweet boy. I'm glad to know you're his girlfriend."

Pretty embarrassing! What was I supposed to answer? Something like: "Actually Mrs. Showalter I came here to break up with Kenny, cause, you see, I don't love him!"? Instead I went for "Yes, he is really sweet and nice… and pretty intelligent as well. But uh… things are not that simple… Uh, can I speak to Kenny?"

I could see Mrs. Showalter was starting to like me a little less already. She stopped smiling altogether for example. She then asked Kathy (Kenny's sister. Apparently everybody in the Showalter family has a name starting with the letter -K-) to bring me to Kenny's room "where the poor little sweet boy was in agony, because of a heartless girl" (Gosh! If she is already insulting me now when I have not yet broken up with Kenny, what will it be when I'll live the house? I am not that impatient to know though).

And there Kenny was! Lying on his bed. His nose all swollen and red, his cheeks whitish, his eyes half shut. He looked awful! I really felt bad. I mean I was the reason why he was in that state. And worse, I was also going to break his heart. I really felt like puking. 

Kenny: Hey Mia! I'm so happy to see you. How did you like my serenade yesterday?

Me: Uh… I never heard it. I was not home.

Kenny (forlorn): Oh… That was what your mom was trying to say then. I could not hear what she was screaming at me.

Me (hating myself): I'm sure I would have loved it though…

Kenny: Really? You know I can sing another one for you. I mean when I feel better.

Me: Oh no. That's ok. … Kenny, we have to speak.

__

I actually started crying. I mean I was being such a witch. How could I? But I had to. I couldn't go on and pretend I loved his kisses and enjoyed his company. And I also think I have the right to be happy with the man I love (and have been in love with like for my ENTIRE life)

Kenny (looking concern): Mia, what's the problem?

Me (still crying): Kenny… I'm so sorry. You're so nice and I like you. Yes I do. But I don't love you.

__

That's when I started sobbing hysterically. Only now Kenny was crying too.

Kenny: It's ok Mia. You don't have to love me as much as I love you. Maybe you're not ready yet to give your heart to someone. But I will wait, I'm sure you'll learn to love me. Meanwhile I promise I won't French you for some time. 

Me: No Kenny! You don't understand! We can't be an item anymore…

Kenny (crying even more): But why? Mia, I love you!

Me: I know but I think of you as a friend only. And to be honest, I have this thing for that other person… It would not even be fair for you if I stayed with you… 

Kenny: … 

Me: I hope you understand.

Kenny: I guess I do. After all I knew it would happen. You have been acting strange lately. I actually suspected you had a crush on someone else.

Me: Really? Was it so noticeable?

Kenny: Kind of. But don't worry, I won't tell it to anyone. I guess it must be hard enough for you. I mean seeing that you are a princess and all. You are not really expected to… to be free to experience this kind of unconventional love.

__

Oh come on! Being in love with one's best friend's brother isn't that unconventional. Or did he mean it's not conventional to be in love with non-royalty when one is a princess? But why should it be any different with Michael than with Kenny. Kenny is not royalty either.

Me: What are you …?

Kenny: Besides I doubt this person will ever love you back.

Me: Why not? I know for sure that this person has feelings for me.

Kenny: Oh Mia! Are you blind? You can't compete against Josh Richter!

__

Josh? What the hell does it have to do with Josh? Josh and Michael? Nonsense!

Me: Uh Kenny… I don't think you really know what you're speaking out.

Kenny: Come on Mia! I know it already. I'm not asking you to do your coming out or anything. But you can trust me, you know. 

Me (both amazed and indignant): Coming out?

Kenny: Yes, I know how you feel about Lana. 

Me: Then you must know that I hate her.

Kenny: Don't even try to deny it. Ever since she came to live with you, you've been terribly distant with me. You always find an excuse to go back home as quickly as possible (to spend time with her I guess). You are always turning around her: at lunch break, in gym, in class… you even talked us into going to the movies when she'd be there. And the poem, it was all about her! I'm not stupid Mia. I know what is that feeling you have about her.

Me: Nausea? 

Kenny: …

Me: Seriously Kenny, I am not having any romantic feelings about Lana. The girl is a pain in the… well, you see where. And I'm not really interested in girls in that way. I'm more into guys, especially Mich… uh… my kind of guy… is uh masculine.

Kenny: Ah… ok. Hard to hear that… I somehow would have accepted it much better if you had been into girls.

__

And he started crying again. 

Kenny: I really would have given anything to be with you. But I guess you are too perfect, too wonderful for me.

__

Gees… I think I deserve to have Grandmère in my life after all seeing how I just destroy one nice guy's dreams. 

Me: Once more I'm so sorry Kenny. It's not about you: you're a great guy. _(Ok I know this is terribly cliché: girls always say such kind of things to guys they dump or they refuse to go out with –I mean when the guy is nice enough- but I had to tell him something which was kind. Who knows, it might have made him feel better) _You deserve a girlfriend who will treat you in a better way. So now I'm going to leave. I wish we could stay friends but I'd understand if you didn't want to. 

And so I left him. We were both still crying. But that didn't seem to move Mrs. Showalter as I heard her whisper something which sounded very much like "tramp" when I went pass her. So ok, I'm a monster and I just broke her son's heart. Maybe I deserve to be insulted but I just don't think that kind of insult was appropriate. Breaking up with Kenny hardly makes me a tramp! Non mais!

***

I'm back home now. I locked myself in my room with Fat Louie for one entire hour. That way I could cry in peace. Lana couldn't come to mock me. I don't feel that bad anymore though because whenever I remember Kenny was actually thinking I was turned on by Lana, I either start to laugh like crazy or I think he actually deserved to be dumped. I mean how could he imagine that I was in love with Lana? I should tell Lilly to psychoanalyse him!

Mom has noticed something's wrong (since my eyes are still reddish), so I told her I had broken up with Kenny. She was a bit surprised but she too thinks it was a good thing to do seeing that I don't like him that much. She also got terribly pissed off when I told Mrs. Showalter had been calling me names. If I hadn't prevented her, she would have gone to confront her. It's nice to feel supported by your mom. 

Also I have been waiting for hours to hear from Michael. I'm afraid he didn't find the poem or else he just didn't understand it. But why on earth did I write it in French? 

The phone rang once though but it was just Lilly. So, ok, I gave her somewhat of a cold shoulder but it was just too depressing to hear her voice when I was expecting Michael's. Anyhow, it turned out she didn't even want to speak with me… but with Lana! Has the world gone crazy? So I spied on them (It's only natural. I mean I have to do everything to protect my best friend from evil Lana) and it was just Lilly asking Lana if she would agree to be interviewed on "Lilly Tells It Like It Is" because she –Lana, I mean- is (just quoting) "our school's best asset. And actually the most beautiful, popular and interesting girl Lilly had ever met. Surely the whole school would like to know a little more about her". I could tell Lana was really pleased, she couldn't stop playing with her hair. And of course she agreed. I just hope our plan will work.

I just check my e-mails for the hundredth time but still nothing from Michael. He is not using Instant Messenger either. I just hope it's because he is too busy translating my poem. OMG the phone is ringing. Please, please, please let it be Michael!


	8. That you don't fit the latest trend?

Hello everybody. Thanks for the many nice reviews. So here's a new chapter for you all. Hope you will like it.

DISCLAIMER: PDs are not mine, consequently the characters are not either. They all belong to the great Meg Cabot.

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I ran to the phone and picked it up excitedly. "Hi", I said.

I could hear someone asking "Amelia, is that you?" and that certainly wasn't Michael's voice! Oh no, that totally sounded like Grandmère's voice. My luck!

Me: Yes, Grandmère, it's me.

Grandmère: Haven't I taught you already that you should never answer to the phone yourself? 

Me: Right, but I was expecting a call from Lilly (What a lie! She couldn't check though). Plus I remind you that we don't have any maids around here. No hotel receptionists either.

GM: Even so. You should have let your mother or her husband answer for you. And if you insist on answering yourself, you should at least state who you are in a princessy way. Something like: Princesse Amelia Mignonette Thermopoils Renaldo à l'appareil, que puis-je pour vous?

Me: I beg your pardon Grandmère… But there is very little chance that people who call home would understand French.

GM: Well, then say the same thing in English!

Me: Uh, uh. So Grandmère, puis-je m'enquérir de la raison pour laquelle vous me faîtes l'honneur immense de me contacter par téléphone? _(In short: why the hell are you calling me?)_

GM: Merveilleux Amelia, I can see you're improving a lot _(Didn't she understand I was so totally making fun of her?) _But back to our, how should I say it, little problem.

Me: What little problem?

GM: You'll know soon enough. I'm waiting for you in the limo so hurry up and get your butt downstairs.

Me: Grandmère, I thought we were expected to be polite! I mean you too are royalty!

GM: Don't discuss young lady. I'm in no mood for this kind of childishness. We are in a hurry. Oh and please dress correctly, you have to look perfect. You always have to look perfect since you can't know beforehand when the press is going to show up. 

Oh great! Another of those extremely boring galas! Let me guess René will be there as well and Grandmère will one more time try to set us up. I can't believe it! Oh and the best of it all is that if Michael ever figures out what my poem is about and calls me, I won't even be home…

GM: Oh and Amelia, I'd like to speak to your mother.

__

Of course mom didn't want to speak to Grandmère so I had to pretend like mom was extremely busy at the moment.

GM: Well, it is extremely urgent (Yeah sure, I believe that! Like last time she called for an emergency was not only because she'd forgot to tell me she'd booked me a French manicure appointment). Tell her that I'll come up if she refuses to speak to me over the phone.

After what mom did not pretend to be so busy anymore…

So I went to my room, changed as quickly as possible and ran downstairs… but not before I noticed that mom was all strange and crying! Gosh, I wonder what Grandmère has been saying this time! With the pregnancy mom is over-sensitive these days. I stopped quickly to kiss her and tell her that I was sorry (for the Grandmère part, I mean), but that just made her cry even more and I didn't have the time to try to comfort her. Cause Grandmère would have killed me…

Anyhow we were not going to any gala! No, we were going to the hospital! And why did we go there? Because Grandmère is a crazy person who is both very sick and very evil and who has dedicated her whole life to ruining mine! I swear I'm not going anymore to princess lessons. Nor am I speaking to Grandmère anymore. I'm gonna tell dad, it's that or I quit being a princess (So what? Maybe I can't quit but I'm still going to do it!). 

First thing I did, when Grandmère told me we were heading for the hospital, was to ask if something had happened to dad. I was really worried! But of course nothing had happened to him. We were going to meet a practitioner, she said, for my own good! That's when I started thinking that she might have booked me an appointment for breast surgery. I was not going to show my breasts to anybody! Ok, so I actually have almost nothing there but I still wouldn't feel comfortable. Plus I was sure you could not do breast surgery on a 14 years-old girl!

But it turned out that Grandmère is even sicker than I thought! Yep, I can't see any other explanation to her disgusting behaviour! I have never been so humiliated in my whole life! And I have already been through a lot, which is to say… No, the reason Grandmère brought me to hospital was that she wanted a gynaecologist to examine me. I was literally forced to undress and let myself examined! And why? 

Because Grandmère wanted to check I was not pregnant! Yes, you heard it correctly! Whatever came into her head! Duh, I'm not Lana Weinberger! I'm Mia… I just had my first boyfriend, whom I hated to French kiss! How could I be pregnant! 

I was so furious I didn't say a single word to her on the way back. Though I don't think I could have uttered a word, had I wished to, because I was crying so much it would have made speaking too painful. And Grandmère didn't even apologise or try to explain why she so totally humiliated me! And the worse of it all is that she called mom on her cell-phone to tell her that everything was fine! So mom knew what Grandmère had been planning and she didn't even warn me! I guess that's the reason why she was crying! Yep, because she had just sold her daughter to the devil. 

I haven't spoken to mom since. I locked myself into my room and refused to leave it. 

Unfortunately there's no news from Michael! My life really sucks!

***

I spent a horrible night! I was too furious to be able to sleep. Which means that I look totally horrible today. I swear I look so ugly, I'm going to repulse Michael. Well, if I get to see him today, that is. Which I am not sure I will, seeing that he didn't come to school with us today. Lilly says he had a computer meeting early this morning. A part of me keeps on wishing that he took the chance to break up with Judith so that he'd be free to declare his feelings to me. But that other part of me tells me he either never found the poem or couldn't understand it (and didn't give a fuss about it). I guess I won't know before some time though… 

***

Oh, my God! Michael came to me in G&T and I can tell you my heart was pounding so loudly I could have started a career as a drummer. 

"Need help with your algebra?" Michael asked.

Me: Sure, as usual. You know I can't manage by myself.

Michael: Well too bad for you but… I don't intend to tutor you today.

Me: Are you kidding me?

__

Holy crap! Michael is mad at me But why? Maybe he hated the poem! I should never have written it in French!

Michael: No, I'm serious. I can't tutor you today, as I need YOU to tutor me.

Me: Me? Tutoring you! This is the funniest thing I have ever heard!

__

And I started laughing, which attracted Lilly's furious glance. Damn!

Michael (with a malicious little smile): Yes, as you know I'm not all that good in French and there is something I need to have translated.

__

Oh, my God! That's it! That's the poem! It can't be anything else. Or can it? Please, let it be the poem! I just hope I don't faint when he asks me out. Cause he HAS to ask me out!

Me (blushing): Yeah, sure. I'd love to help you.

Michael (pulling out a piece of paper, which I could have recognised among 10 000 others): Here it comes! I'm going to try to read it but I'm not so sure about my accent.

__

So he read it, and let me tell you Michael has the cutest accent ever:

Mon amour, mon âme-soeur

Je compte les jours, je compte les heures

Je voudrais te dessiner dans un désert

Le désert de mon coeur.

Michael: So what does it mean?

Me (shaking, choking and hyperventilating, all at once): um… it means something like …

Michael: Yes?

Mia (in a whisper, looking down): like… my love, my soul mate, I have been counting days and hours, I'd like to draw you in a desert, the desert of my heart. Of course it's not that poetical in English but in short it means that … Michael… _(And I looked up at him at that point) _I love you!

Michael (with a huge grin): I thought so. Um, Mia, are you still with Kenny?

Mia (absentmindedly, as I was too busy watching Michael's lips): Kenny who? 

Michael: Kenny Showalter! Your boyfriend!

Mia: My EX-boyfriend you mean. I broke up with him.

Michael (leaning towards me): Great!

And then it happened. Right, he kissed me. It was the best kiss I had ever received and not any simple kiss either. No, he Frenched me. And let me tell you I didn't pull away as I would have, had it been Kenny. I could hear everybody cheer us in the background. That is everybody EXCEPT Lilly who was actually too busy swearing. But I didn't care, I didn't care at all cause that kiss was worth everything, including Lilly's swearing. So I decided to enjoy it as long as possible… which unfortunately was not very long since the door opened at that moment on a screaming Tina! 

Tina: Mia, why didn't you tell me anything?

__

Gosh, was Tina spying behind the door to see if Michael was going to make a move on me? I know she's desperate for a little romance but still…

Me: Well, it just happened!

Tina: How can you say that?

Me: Well, let's see… because it's true?

Tina: So it is true! But I thought I was your friend, why didn't you tell me anything?

Me: But it just happened!

Tina: Maybe it just happened, but it's already all over the press.

Me: Nay… No way!

Tina: Well, look at that!

__

And she handed me her newspaper. What a shock! I was in the headlines! But it had nothing to do with Michael and I kissing! No, it was far worse. And somehow I started to understand what had been Grandmère's problem as I could read: "**Teenage pregnancy: our very own princess sets the bad example**_."_

Me: I don't understand!

Tina: Me neither! How could you hide this from us?

Michael: Tell me it's not true!

Lilly: Oh, my Gosh!

Me: Of course it's not true!

Tina: But you just said it was!

Lilly: Yes, you even said it just happened.

Me: Duh, I thought Tina was speaking about the whole me and Michael thing! And that definitely just happened!

Lilly: I just hope you're not lying to us.

Me: Can't you see it's just a stupid rumour?

Tina: Yes, but why would it start like that, out of the blue?

Me: I don't know. Maybe Grandmère angered some journalist. Or then it could be Kenny. He certainly didn't appreciate the whole breaking-up episode… He might have turned nuts.

Michael: Um, let's look inside the newspaper. We might learn more about this whole rumour.

__

And so we read the article and that's what it said:

****

Teenage pregnancy is once more at stakes as 14 years old Amelia Mignonette Grimaldi Thermopolis Renaldo, princess of Genovia, is reported to be pregnant. Fellow freshman, Kenny Showalter, is thought to be the father. Best friend and stepsister Lana Weinberger, who found a positive pregnancy test in their common bathroom, revealed the truth yesterday evening. After being confronted by her stepsister, the princess would have confessed taking the mentioned pregnancy test.

The dowager queen denied the information but was spotted accompanying Amelia to the hospital, where it is believed the teenager might have had abortion. It was indeed confirmed by the hospital staff that the princess spent a long time with a specialist practitioner. A nurse added that the time she spent in there could have been enough for an operation of this kind.

__

And there was a picture of me going out of the hospital. And really this picture didn't help as I was crying and looked at Grandmère angrily. It kind of looked like I indeed had had an abortion and was crying over it.

Me: See, it's a set up! Lana is responsible!

Tina: Yeah, like you never went to hospital yesterday evening! 

Me: Well… I did but…

Lilly: I can't believe that! First you hide being a princess and now you hide being pregnant. I thought I was your best friend. But apparently Lana is! Cause you told her, but not us!

Me: Lilly, this article is completely bogus! Why don't you believe me? You know that Lana hates me!

Lilly: Well, maybe but I don't think she could have invented something that big. Not to mention that picture, which totally speaks for itself. Come on, guys! Let's go! We have nothing to do with such a liar!

And with that she grabbed both Tina and Michael and pulled them out of the room. Michael looked back at me, but he didn't try to fight off Lilly. He kept looking back at me for a little while though. And there was so much sadness in his eyes… I could tell he believed the whole thing. 

And so I started to cry, you know, because that was totally unfair. I had lost Michael on the very same day we had first kissed. How pathetic! And all of that because of Lana! (Ok, because of Grandmère too! After all she is the one responsible for this awful picture!). 

But I swear I'm going to get back at Lana! Except that… none of my friends actually seem to be speaking to me anymore. Which means that there is no more working strategy to get rid of Lana! What am I going to do? And I want Michael back too!

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Oh and I forgot to say the poem is the first paragraph of a song by Emilie Simon called Desert. (www.emiliesimon.com)

Oh and please REVIEW! 


	9. Can't you see you're such a joke?

Hiya girls! Sorry I didn't update sooner but I've been having a lot of health troubles lately, not to forget university work, exams, thesis and my desperate search for a job. Sorry for those who have forgotten what's the story's all about.

So here comes a new chapter, hope you will like it. Sorry if the English is not great but I feel too tired to check it again.

Please review as well! :)

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I am home now. Locked in my room. I'm still not speaking to mom and not willing to see Lana either. God, I feel so sick. I know I have said it many times already but:** I really hate my life!**

Things have looked up a bit though. I mean Mr. G. is so totally mad at Lana! She's granted for the rest of her days (well, at least for the rest of her days among us. I'm quite sure her mother would rather congratulate her on her mischief than blame her, meaning once she's back home, she'll be free to roam the city again.) and from now on she'll have to see a therapist, he said, as something is definitely wrong with her. Couldn't agree less.

I can tell you Lana is not happy. She went to cry to her mom right away. And I was hoping her mom would hurry back to New York and rid us of Lana but apparently she's enjoying herself far too much in Europe to even consider it. Sigh.

Well, at least, it has been very funny to hear what Grandmère had to tell her. Yep, that's right. Grandmère came over tonight. Of course I totally ignored her. I mean I was serious when I swore never to speak to her anymore! And so I stayed in my room. I was sure Grandmère was going to make a fuss about it.

Only, I was wrong. Sure, she made a fuss. But not about me. About Lana. Yep, Grandmère stormed in Lana's room and locked the door behind her before Lana even had time to realise what was going on. Here is what I heard her snort at Lana (she was snorting loud enough for me to hear it from my room):

_"You will have to learn no one can attack the Genovian Royal family without consequences. I have a lot of influence in many spheres, I could destroy your future, your career or relationships, but for now I just arranged so that you won't be allowed access to any of the good and chic clothes, accessories and shoes stores of this city. I don't think you need them anyhow as you're not yet a young lady but just a naughty child._

_ Also, considering your sense of elegance, you can wear Laura Ashley and get some more paint for your face from your Art class. It's a pity really, if you made more efforts, you could almost look pretty, in spite of that huge nose of yours._

_And remember I'll make your life a misery until you make amends and show you've worked on your manners!"_

And she's even volunteered to give Lana some lessons in the art of savoir-vivre. To which, Mr. G. has agreed. Serves her right! I only wish they'd kill each other after the first meeting already.

In spite of that, I'm still depressed because it's not everyday one loses their two best friends and their boyfriend at once. Ok, I don't know if I can say Michael was my boyfriend as we just exchanged one single and short-lived kiss before everything was over, but still...

I mean none of them has called to apologise yet or anything. I'm telling you, they don't deserve me as their friend! It's really heart-breaking… I don't know if I'll have them back when all this is over. Who am I kidding? As if I had so many friends…

At least Shameeka and Ling Su came home to speak to me and, surprise, they believe me. Yep! It's great to see that not everybody is fouled by the rumours. They agreed it looked like a set-up! And they swore to help me get rid off Lana once more.

Also dad is mad at Grandmère and allowed me not to attend Princess lessons anymore. Duh, I was nicely surprised! Grandmère too was surprised but not in a nice way. She stupidly believed I would gladly come back after she'd privately humiliated Lana. Well Grandmère, keep dreaming!

She also thought dad would have congratulated her for bringing me to hospital. But no, he was as mad as me! It's true that the picture from the hospital makes it just worse. That will teach 'em all not to trust me. Although… I'm the one being punished for their lack of trust. I'm the one being treated like a …, you know the B-word. Everybody at school is going to laugh at me…

Still what really bothers me is my friends' betrayal. Lilly always claims she is so bright but she cannot even see through Lana's pitiful games. I always used to feel stupid around her, cause you know, she uses all these complicated words nobody else but Michael understands. Well, I'm telling you I don't feel that stupid anymore!

I checked my e-mails to see if Michael would have written something to me but he didn't. I had several mocking e-mails though. Some guys even asked when I'd be free to go out with them. Not because they were interested in me, just because they thought I'm an easy girl who likes the laying part of a relationship.

I should forward those e-mails to Grandmère, maybe she'll have Rommel run after them. Duh! Wouldn't that be pathetic? Maybe they could put it in the newspapers as well, I can already see the headline: **Dowager Queen kills three school boys to avenge the honour of her sl--granddaughter**.

Jeez, I'm disgusted with everybody and everything. I'd better go to sleep.

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Great: a new school day in the miserable life of Mia Thermopolis! Why is it that at least twice a month everybody at school keeps looking and sniggering at me for hours? Why can't I be a regular kid?

And why won't my dad ever allow me to stay home in times of crisis. No, he always says, a true Renaldo is able to keep strong and face any situation! Well, maybe I'm not a true Renaldo! After all I lived 14 years of my life under the name of Thermopolis. But dad never wants to let me explain that to him.

So here I am, at school. Didn't pick up Lilly and Michael on the way, didn't even try to. I'm certainly not going to try and run after them if they refuse to believe me.

As usual, the press was waiting for me and interviewing other students meanwhile. I didn't even make an effort to comment or deny the rumours. I just ignored them. I don't know how I could prove I never had an abortion anyway.

However I heard Kenny tell them we never had had sex together. After what he added that I didn't even know how to French kiss and was too scare to even try that. How in their right mind could they believe I'd been having sex!

Well, thanks Kenny. I'm happy you told them so. But did you really need to mention I didn't even know how to French kiss!? Now it will be all over the news and no boy will ever want to try to French me again! Jeez!

Plus, it is not true! I know how to French kiss. I just never wanted to French kiss Kenny. The mere idea of sharing slime with him gives me the creep! But in fact, I'm a very good French kisser. I mean Michael didn't seem to complain after we Frenched. Ok, so he didn't really have time to comment on that as he was gone the minute after but still…

What if I'm a bad French kisser? I should ask Michael if he liked the kiss, only he doesn't speak to me anymore. Maybe I should train with someone? But who? I never wanted to kiss anyone but Michael! Except maybe for Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp.

Anyhow I was really relieved Kenny had denied making me pregnant… at least until I heard Josh Richter claim around that he was not surprised with any of the rumours considering I had already slept with him on the very day of our first date. This guy would really do anything for ten seconds of fame!

Unfortunately for me, people seemed to believe him and the press even asked if he thought he might be the father of my (possibly already dead) baby! Of course – why am I doomed?- Mr I-m-hot-but-my brain-is-empty just said: "Well, you never know!".

I know what I'm going to ask Santa for Christmas: Josh Richter's head on a silver platter!

Gosh! How many lovers and babies are they going to make up? I swear, I'll soon be known for giving birth to a chimpanzee when I was 4.

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Tina and Lilly have been avoiding me all day. They didn't join me for lunch but, thankfully, Shameeka and Lin Su did. Which was very courageous of them. I don't know if I would have been that courageous, had Lilly repeatedly sent me those furious glances of hers. But Shameeka and Ling Su so totally ignored her, I'm thinking of having them decorated by dad with the Genovian red badge of courage.

Michael has been a real Mr. Invisible. I'd think he'd stayed home if I hadn't found a note from him in my locker. Yep, that's right he wrote me a note. I don't know if I should feel happy or sad about it, as it was neither a we're-so-over-and-I-don't-even-want-us-to-be friends note nor a I-love-you-more-than-anything-and-don't-give-a-fuss-about-the-rumours note.

In fact it was more of the Let's-wait-and-see kind of note. Here is what he wrote to me:

_Mia, _

_Sorry for not being more supportive but I don't know what to think of all this. I really want to believe you when you say it's a set up. You know I don't think you would lie but then again there's this picture of you…_

_I love you but I feel confused and need some time alone to think about it and figure out what to do._

_Michael_

So things are not **that** bad and there is still hope for us. Only, I can't prevent myself from feeling depressed.

Lana's behaviour is sure not helping. She came to me just before G&T, called me a slut and slapped me. She was completely hysterical. Apparently she too believed what Josh said this morning. Her speech was totally incoherent but I vaguely understood that she hated me because I'd slept with her boyfriend even before she'd had a chance to do it herself…

Duh, how dense she can be! Soon she'll start believing I'm expecting his child even though she is the one who made up the whole pregnancy thing.

I was about to hit her back but Tim was quicker than me. Not that he actually hit her but he made her trip on his walking stick. And he sure did it on purpose! I saw it clearly! But Lana couldn't accuse him cause Tim is blind. And he apologised right away, claiming it was all an accident and that he hadn't seen her. Even Lana is not that cruel that she could scream at or hit a blind person for not seeing her. Also, it wouldn't be good for her reputation.

Anyway, that was really nice of Tim. I'd never thought he was such a nice person. Cause, you see, he usually tries to avoid other people.

Michael told me once Tim used to be a jock. And then he had this car accident and he lost his sight. Head trauma or something like that. Since then, he has never been spotted neither around the jocks nor with the rest of us. Nope, he is always alone and always very, very quiet.

Lilly says such kind of behavioural transformation is not uncommon since the human brain works in mysterious ways.

So I thanked Tim for his help. And he invited me to sit near-by him in G&T so as not to feel too lonely. Which I'm going to do (I mean, sit with him). That will show Michael, Lilly and Tina that I'm so totally able to make new friends.

The only problem is: Tim is always doing sculptures (apparently he doesn't need to see the result) and I'm afraid I'll be full of mud afterwards.

Well, I heard Lana say it's good for the skin…


	10. When was the last time your cell phone r...

DISCLAIMER (which I forgot for last chapter but who cares…) I own nothing. I am not making any money and shall live forever poor. Sigh.

Jacki, I had forgotten to answer to your question: Definitely Han Solo!

Thanks for all the reviewers. I love you all! (In a platonic sort of way, of course).

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So here we are in G&T. I'm sitting with Tim. Of course, and somewhat unfortunately, there is already some mud on my diary but, oh well, at least I'm not alone.

Actually I'm even enjoying myself. I never knew Tim was that funny a person. Though to be honest, I'm in fact forcing myself to laugh most of the time. I know I'm being ridiculous but I just wanna show the others that I'm doing well. That I'm not this incredible desperate and lonely loser.

Which of course I am. And the worst of it all is that I'm aware of it. Like most of the school is, anyway. Which is a major down for my mood. All this leading to my pretending even more that everything's fine. Ha! Who am I kidding?

Doesn't seem like my little act of "happiness" is working anyhow. Nope. Lilly is still ignoring me!

She couldn't care less about what I'm doing.

At least, she had been pissed off that first time when she was no longer my friend, you know, when I befriended Tina. Yep, she at least had been annoyed.

And at lunch today… she had seemed furious to see Ling Su and Shameeka were keeping me company! But now, nah, nothing!

And Michael! Ha! He is not even remotely interested in what I'm doing… Couldn't he have the decency to at least appear jealous?

NAY, he too is totally ignoring me. I bet it has something to do with the famous Moscovitz genes! In fact he is just typing something on his keyboard and he's put his earphones on so as to be completely and absolutely sure he wouldn't have the misfortune of hearing my voice.

Come to think of it: I was ready to give my heart and soul to this… this… adorable and loveable hottie! Sigh.

Well, well, at least Tina is checking on me (and Tim) whenever she thinks I'm not looking. So I guess she's not totally indifferent to whatever happens to me.

Then again, it might be the Tim factor. I mean Tim might be blind but he's definitely a hottie. Nothing compared to Michael of course but still…

I can just imagine Tina and Tim going out. They would be so perfect for each other. I mean it would so totally be the perfect romance Tina is searching for. I'm sure she could even write a novel about it!

Plus, we could double date all together. It'd be so cute: there'd be the M&M couple and the T&T one. Nay… sounds a bit too… too… I don't have a word for it. But if I had one –word I mean, it definitely would be that.

Anyhow, it's not like I'm going to introduce Tina to Tim any time soon. I mean I couldn't even if I wanted to, considering Tina and I are no longer in speaking terms.

However Boris made a very little and discreet sign to me on his way to the closet. Which means he is practically on my side but won't ever confess it, even under torture, because you know he is Lilly's boyfriend.

And you never know how she might react to it. She's pretty scary for such a short girl…

Well, at least Tim seems genuinely concerned by what's happening to me. I mean after our talks on the weather (yeah, we didn't really know what we could speak about at first), about Lana, about Buffy and -who would believe it- about Algebra (we agreed it sucked) he asked me:

****

Tim: So Mia, how are you dealing?

****

Me: Not very well.

****

Tim: You shouldn't let yourself be affected by these silly rumours. You know, rumours are… just rumours.

****

Me: Yeah, sure, you're so right! I just lost my reputation, my friends and my boyfriend to be! Not to mention I'm no longer trusting any member of my family. So, not such big a deal, huh? … And in case you hadn't noticed: I'm being sarcastic.

__

To which Tim started to laugh. Well, thanks a bunch, Tim. You're being very supportive. Can't blame you though, after all even my best friends are not supporting me!

****

Me: Jeez. Thanks for your sympathy! Oh and yep, I'm being sarcastic again!

__

And he laughed even more!

****

Tim: Sorry, hihi… Mia. I couldn't help it. It's just… the way you're stating you're being sarcastic… Gosh! I'm blind, Mia, but not deaf! I can make the distinction between a sarcastic tone and a non-sarcastic one.

****

Me: Oh… well. I guess I… I'm sorry.

****

Tim: No, it's ok. It was really cute. And I hadn't laughed like that for some time.

****

Me: Yep, you're not much in a laughing mood usually. Why is that?

****

Tim: Guess.

****

Me: Your locker is nearby Lana's?

__

At that, he laughed again. See, I'm a cool and funny person nowadays! Hurrah for the big Princess freak! She can be funny at times! I mean in a good way! Not in a laughing AT sort of way.

****

Tim: Well, no! Thanks God! But you know the whole blindness thing… Doesn't usually make me cheer.

****

Me: I hear you! It's sad. But you know, you could still have friends and have fun.

****

Tim: You're right. You could be my friend…

****

Me: I sure will!

****

Tim: So back to your problems…

__

I was kind of ashamed at that point. Because who was I to mope over lost friends when this guy had obviously lost both sight and friends?

****

Me: Huh, I'm not sure you wanna hear it. It's so selfish and… childish. You know, I guess you were right; it's just some stupid rumours and I should ignore them.

****

Tim: Yeah, but I can hear that it's bugging you…

__

To which I just sighed.

****

Tim: So what is going on with that Moscovitz guy? I kind of thought you were dating, from what happened last time. I mean weren't you kissing? Or else I misheard what was going on. With the cheers and all… it wasn't that easy to make it all out, you know.

****

Me: Yeah, we in fact were Frenching… _(I couldn't help smiling at the memory of it) _but… _(and my smile vanished)_ he's been kind of cold lately. The rumours…

****

Tim: So… Dr Jekyll and Mr Hide, much?

****

Me: Not really but… yeah. Kind of.

****

Tim: His lost. A beautiful girl like you…

__

Wow, I can't believe somebody actually finds me beautiful… I mean besides Kenny. And I'm not even sure he did. I mean, find me beautiful. But wait a minute. Bullshit! Tim is blind! He cannot find me beautiful! He cannot find me anything as a matter of fact.

****

Me: Hey! Duh! You're blind! Meaning that you don't have the slightest idea how I look like!

****

Tim: Well my Daredevil sense tells me you're beautiful!

__

And we laughed once more. And at that point, thank God almighty, Michael turned his head into our direction and…YEP! He sure looked like a jealous man! Ha! That will teach him! Hope he doesn't get even madder at me though. That would so be unfair! Plus what would I do?

****

Tim: More seriously, I might not be able to see but I can hear and smell. You definitely have both a beautiful voice and a delicious smell.

__

Which made me blush. I mean, who wouldn't blush when a guy – a hot guy! - tells them such sweet things. However I'm happy Tim can't see me blushing. I don't want him to think I'm interested in him in that kind of way. Cause I'm not. There isn't even a single second I don't spend thinking about MICHAEL MOSCOVITZ. Who, by the way, is 10 times hotter.

****

Tim: And you know Lana might be gorgeous, at least from what I heard, but she's quite ugly to me. I mean her personality is ugly. You, on the contrary… you are beautiful inside and I'm sure you're equally as beautiful physically.

__

Oh no! That totally sounded like Tim would indeed be interested in me. What am I going to do? I don't want to break his heart. Nor do I want to lose his friendship. Holy crap! I don't want a Kenny rerun! Nay! I've had my share! So, ok Tim is much, much hotter and funnier than Kenny, but still! So I took a big breath and tried to put it right.

****

Me: Huh, Tim… You're making me feel uncomfortable. You see… or huh rather… you know, you hardly know me. And I like you as a friend, sure, but not in another kind of way… I still love Michael, you know. Can't we just be friends?

****

Tim: Oh… well, ok Mia. I'm gonna try not to hit on you anymore. It's just… I guess I haven't been that comfortable with a girl -or with anybody else for that matter- for a very long time. I kind of got over-excited! But let's forget about it, buddy!

****

Me: Buddy?

__

And we laughed again. Unfortunately, if Michael noticed the laughter (and started to type furiously on his keyboard), he must not have heard what I told Tim. Otherwise he wouldn't look so crossed. It was after all a real love declaration to Michael…

Anyhow, Tim and I kept chatting for the rest of the period.

Michael kept typing, Tina kept spying and Lilly, well, she kept on ignoring us.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Back to the loft. Guess what I found on my bed? And no, it was not Fat Louie!

Nope, it was a small package. Looked like a present.

For a second, I thought Michael had sent me something to express his "uber-sorryness" and beg me to take him back. Yeah, I'm that delusional!

Of course it wasn't from Michael. It was from mom!

Apparently she's feeling terribly guilty for what happened. I almost forgave her at that point but then I remembered what she'd done to me... I mean she should never have let Grandmère have her ways. Plus I'm still hurt from her lack of confidence.

But on the plus side, mom is feeling genuinely guilty.

Unlike Grandmère who keeps calling and demanding that I go back to princess lessons. I must stop to act like a stupid child, she says! Argh! The nerve of it!

Seriously, she has an iceberg instead of a heart!

Anyway, I got very surprised when I unpacked my present… Cause in it was a cell-phone!

Yep, you heard it right: a CELL-PHONE! I had been asking for one for ages and mom always refused to get me one.

And now she feels THAT guilty that she bought me one. Ha!

So at least something good came out of all that mess. I mean besides the not having to take Princess lessons anymore part.

But I sure am not going to go speak to mom. Not yet anyway. Nobody can buy me!

So I have a cell-phone. I should use it. Who could I call? I have so many choices. NOT. Should it be Ling Su or Shameeka?

Yep, I have like TWO friends! Humph. And then there's also Tim, but I don't even have his number anyhow…

Speaking about phone calls, Lilly called earlier. That's how it went:

****

Lilly: Hello, this is Lilly Moscovitz. Could I speak to…

****

Me: Lilly? I'm so happy you called.

****

Lilly: Mia? Huh, I actually wanted to speak to Lana. So if you would oblige…

****

Me: But… Wait, I want to explain things.

****

Lilly: I said I want to speak to Lana, ok?

****

Me: Ok. I go tell her.

__

From what I heard, Lilly was trying to cancel her show with Lana. She didn't manage it though. Lana wouldn't hear about it.

****

Lana: Listen to me, pug-face! If you cancel the show, you're dead. I can make your life a living-hell! By the way, did you know that my stepfather owns parts in that company that optioned your show? _(Gosh, one can already notice she's spent one hour with Grandmère tonight! She's become even more manipulative! If that's possible.)_ So,are we clear?

__

I couldn't hear what Lilly answered but apparently Lilly is not much of the iron-strong grande feminist she usually pretends to be.

****

Lana: Good! And to show you my gratitude… I'll even go as far as saying "hi" to you tomorrow… Wait! No, I won't! I don't especially want to be seen with a girl who is usually hanging around the sports field with Michelin written on her.

The positive point is that Lana already received the beauty pageant leaflets Ling Su has been sending.

And my, Ling Su is very gifted in the art of forging: She wrote a fake letter from a so-called beauty association called "I'm cool and beautiful", claiming they had noticed Lana in the street and had practically "fallen in love" with her!

Yeesh. The mere thought of it gives me the wiggins!

Anyway, she went on saying that Lana had the potential to win any beauty pageants she's take part in, some of the best would soon be set in Alaska and Hawaii.

Note to self: remember to contact Ling Su in case of denied parental permissions to field trips!

Of course, Lana bought it all. She was so excited she called all her friends (except Josh who she broke up with. I bet that won't last long though. The break-up, I mean.) to tell them how gorgeous she was and how famous she'd soon be.

That is until Mr. G. heard it and became furious.

That part was actually hilarious. He was so angry. Seeing Mr. G. in a state of rage is something not to miss. So funny… My cheeks are still aching.

Wouldn't have been that funny though had I been the one he was raging after.

Lana was more than surprised! She had never seen him in such a state!

Gosh, she dropped her jaw, and her chewing gum dropped too. Fell right on her Prada shoe!

I was in such a good mood after that!

That is… until I realised what it meant. Because of course he won't let her go. And as much as it pleases me to see Lana punished, it still means she won't be away from home before an eternity.

Life is so unfair!

Well, at least I get to witness Lana whine and repeatedly beg Mr. G to let her go.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Grrr! I'm furious! In fact I'm totally mad! You know how Lana had shaved all of Fat Louie's hairs away! Well, they were just growing back. He was starting to look cute again. And what does she do?

She dyed them purple!

I'm mad! Really! Nobody can attack Fat Louie repeatedly like that without me getting pissed. Fat Louie is, after all, the person –ok, I know it is a cat- I love the most in the whole world!

So I poured all of mom's green ink into Lana's shampoo. She'll see how that feels!

Tomorrow she'll have a little surprise after shower. I can't wait to hear her reaction!

But, god, I'm gonna be so dead.

Maybe I'd better leave for school early.

Note to self: remember to check shampoo before use from now on. And food too. Actually I think I'll have to check everything!

I think I might go to live with Ronnie, our neighbour, for some time. (I'll bring Fat Louie as well. It will be safer for him).

Of course I'd rather go to live at the Moscovitz and share Michael's room for a month or so. But seeing as none of the Moscovitz is speaking to me…

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Checking my e-mails now. Hurrah, I got a couple of e-mails from Michael.

Wait! Huh, huh. Bad. Could be so bad!

What if he's saying he's been thinking about it long enough and decided we'd better end it all right now?

Just shoot me!

Should I read them?

No, I can't take it.

But I guess I need to know what's going on.

Ok, Breathe Mia, Breathe. You can do it. You're da man! (As if!)

OMG!!!!!


	11. Baby girl, let's not pretend

Thanks for the whole three people who reviewed my story. You guys rock!

DISCLAIMER: Comme d'hab!

--------------------------------------------------

Wow!

E-mail #1:

Hey Thermopolis,

You know, I kind of miss you.

Still need some time to sort it all though…

M

__

Michael misses me, Michael misses ME! Oh Joy, oh happiness!

He simply can't live without me! I mean, sure, I never heard he would have broken up with his other girlfriend, aka Judith Greshner but…

OMG! What if he is still seeing Judith?

Lilly kept saying they were not dating but Lilly sure believes tons of bullshit!

Like she believes I had sex with I don't know who and got pregnant and had abortion! Duh!

Still, this was like a love letter. I mean the word "love" was not actually mentioned… But it had been mentioned earlier, in that note of him! He he!

E-mail #2:

What do you think you're doing with that Tim guy? You're mine, ok?

I said I needed some time to figure things out. I never said you could date someone else!

M.

__

Here comes the jealous man act. I d_unno if I should feel flattered or annoyed at it._

I mean that is pretty macho of him. I bet he thinks he can throw me like an old sock and then take me back when he wants to! Hell, no!

Though… yeah, sure he can. Hello! I'm after all on the verge of begging him to have me back!

Yeah! That's how pathetic I am!

On the other hand, I have to confess that it has been my LIFE LONG fantasy to have two guys –preferably hot and famous; but one can't have everything, so let's forget about the famous part- fight for me.

Also, I like to think of Michael as possessive of me. Yep, I'm Michael's girl!

E-mail #3:

I heard Kenny on the news. Said you never did… well, that thing, together.

So I guess I have been behaving like… a supreme ass…

Will her Highness ever forgive me?

__

Well, if forgiving Michael means more making out… Sure!!!

Or should I be like more assertive and all? Avoid him for some time (as he did to me!).

Nay! Couldn't survive that! Gosh I so love to be weak!

And there, I was, about to write to Michael that as far as I was concerned we could go make out right away when I received a fourth e-mail:

E-mail #4:

Did Josh and you really… I mean…? No! No way!

That is utterly disgusting!

__

So what now? Are we on or not? I mean, I dunno what that last e-mail really meant. Is e-mail #3 cancelled by e-mail #4? Who does he believe anyhow, Josh or me? Cause it sure looks like he believes Josh!

Josh! JOSH! The very infamous Josh! Who pretended he liked me just to be on the cover of the country's tabloids!

And whose girlfriend is –ok; WAS- Lana Weinberger!

A double set-up! That's what it is!

But no, no! The Moscovitz geniuses can't see that!

Cause if it's in the news, it has to be true…

And I thought Tim was the blind one. But, he, unlike some others, sure sees through Lana and Josh's petty games.

After 10 minutes or so ruminating on that, it started to get on my nerves! I mean really…

And that's how I decided to tell Michael how disappointed I was by his last reaction. Of course, I, being a princess and all, said it in a very delicate, subtle and well-expressed way:

E-mail to Michael:

You, jerk!

Ha! That felt good!

For a whole five minutes…

After which I started to actually feel bad about it. Why does everything have to be so complicated?!

So for once I'm being assertive… and I can't live with it. Knowing that I may have lost Michael forever thanks to these 2 seconds of assertiveness. Sigh.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, so I spent most of the night crying because… well because, and that's not a surprise, things are not going well at all.

After that, getting up was very, very hard. Total lack of sleep! But I had set my alarm clock. Which was a real blessing as I wouldn't have been up before Lana otherwise.

So got up early, took with me a couple of clothes and Fat Louie and ran to Ronnie's.

Ronnie is really nice. But really s/he doesn't have a very good sense of taste. Yep, s/he found that purple was a great plus for Fat Louie! Yeesh!

Then I called Lars and hopped in the limo as soon it parked down the building. I knew I was going to be an hour early at school but I could always spend it in the limo, working on my poem or trying to figure out what on earth that last Algebra lesson had been all about.

Cause, I don't even have an Algebra tutor anymore…

Twenty minutes later, my cell rang. But duh! I knew best than to answer.

Only I panicked and did. Answer I mean. It could have been serious. You know, if someone had catnapped Fat Louie or something. Or if there'd been a problem with mom and the baby…

And as a matter of fact, it was mom. She didn't sound too pleased.

And, strangely enough, I could guess why.

Also I could hear some hysteric screaming in the background.

Yep! Lana had met her fate! Thinking about the shock she must have had when she saw her face in the mirror, I couldn't help smiling.

Sometimes, like three seconds a week, life is not THAT unfair. I mean to me, anyway.

Though I guess it also meant I would met mine –fate, I mean- very soon.

But really, there was no way things could have gone worse. Well, except if Dad decided I had to resume Princess lessons. But I wouldn't go in any case.

****

Mom: Mia, where are you?

****

Me: On my way to school, why?

****

Mom: Oh, you bloody well know why!

****

Me: Actually mom, I have absolutely no idea what you're speaking about… _(She, of course, couldn't see my nostril flaring. However she still didn't seem to be fooled. Why am I such a bad liar?)_

****

Mom: You know Mia, _(and she sighed heavily)_ you're not making our life any easier. Things were already bad, but now… they're getting out of hands.

__

At that point I heard Mr. G. shouting at Lana: Oh, but you will go to school! I don't care how humiliated you're gonna feel. After all, we had Mia go with all the rumours and all. You might be my daughter, but you certainly won't be privileged.

__

So everybody will see Lana's new hair colour! Yippee. But God, I am so dead!

Concept: HIDE!!!

****

Mom: Mia? Are you even listening? You know, I thought you would be responsible enough not to, huh, not to screw up. I'm really disappointed.

__

How did she dare? So Lana can do everything she wants, is hardly ever punished and I am the one who screws up! Yeah. Sure. Life is so unfair! Plus, who is she kidding? I mean she thought I was pregnant! Wouldn't that be counted as "screwing up"?

****

Me: Well, mom… like mother, like daughter! Cause you were sure acting responsible when you let Grandmère bring me to the hospital! You know, I too am very disappointed.

****

Mom: Honey…

****

Me: Oh and, by the way, I'm not coming home tonight.

And I hanged up.

So ok, that was not very nice of me. But, hey! I am a human being! I too have feelings. I can't just take everything and keep smiling like a complete moron.

Also I can't live knowing my stepsister is torturing animals (especially when it's Fat Louie). Something had to be done. I'm sure Greenpeace would approve.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I'm in the girls' bathroom now. I'm not crying though. Not yet anyhow. But, yeah, I'm a bit shaky.

Half of the day's gone and I'm still alive. Definitely a plus!

Still have to go through the second half of it though and then through tomorrow, and through the day after, and the day after. And so on, for about four years. God, why didn't I think about that? I mean before I put the ink in the shampoo.

Cause even if Lana leaves home, she'll still be at school!

So Lana has been trying to hide her hideous new self by wearing a hat! With some success, I must admit.

Not such a great idea though, as I heard some Cheerleaders laugh at it. Apparently wearing that kind of a hat is terribly passé and… way uncool! Even Josh complained about it.

The day started with Algebra (which was a bit unnerving), but I ran away as soon as the class was over so that neither Mr. G. nor Lana could catch me. Yes, I know, I'm completely and definitely a COWARD!

But I couldn't escape her all day long. Cause, you see, I had to eat! And so she found me at lunchtime sitting with Shameeka, Ling Su and Tim. The usual! (Although very new, very recent usual!)

****

Lana _(screaming hysterically)_**: **You're so dead! What did you think?

****

Me: … _(Not answering. Really I had nothing to tell her! I don't think I needed to explain WHY I had done that. Hello, Lana! Remember Fat Louie!)_

****

Lana: You may be the Princess of fucking Genovia but I totally rule the school, OK?

__

Obviously, she was waiting for an answer but I decided it'd be best to just ignore her.

****

Lana _(getting redder and redder with rage any minute)_**:**I'll have my revenge, you know. I'll steal your boyfriend, I, I, uh, I don't know, I'll kill your cat!

__

OMG no! No, not Fat Louie! Poor Fat Louie! Thank God, he is safe at Ronnie's right now.

Anyway, everybody was looking at Lana as if she was a psycho. Which she is!

They seemed pretty amazed… And terrified too! I heard someone whisper the word "lunatic".

I so hope her popular friends would all dump her! Yeah, I know. Wishful thinking!

The thing was, nobody knew why Lana was raging at me. They had not seen her hair. Yet. You know, with the hat factor.

But I knew sooner or later, a teacher would ask her to take it –the hat- off. I don't know what would happen then

Of course, there was a slight possibility Mr. G. had asked the other teachers to let Lana wear her hat in class. She's his daughter, for Christ's sake!.

****

Lana: Hey witch! _(yeah, you know the trick, it was indeed the b-word)_ I'm waiting for an answer?

****

Me: Lana, you've obviously never heard the Genovian proverb: "Mieux vaut fermer sa gueule et passer pour un con, que l'ouvrir, et prouver qu'on est con!"

****

Lana: Huh? What the f…

****

Me: Which means I'd rather shut up and look like a silly witch _(replace with b-word)_, than open up, as you do, and prove to be one.

__

Wow. That was… fun! Lana was so taken aback. Ha! She dropped her jaw once again.

****

Me: You know Lana, you should really quit that bad habit of you. I'm sure swallowing flies is an overrated pleasure!

__

After which I got on my feet and started to leave. I heard Lana step in my direction and so I turned back one last time towards her and added:

****

Me: Oh and about your hat… I've never seen something uglier! I dunno, maybe it's the colour. Yeah, you should really try the same in GREEN.

__

At that point Lana almost hit me, but Tim put himself in front of me. And caught her fist in his stomach. Ooch! Poor Tim! He's a real sweetie though.

After that people started to "boo" at Lana. And she ran away.

So I may not have won the war, but I did win a battle. And, God, was I assertive! I'm kinda proud of myself! And that look on Lilly's face! Priceless!

There is an icky factor though: maybe I've become too Lana like.

Also I started to shake a little, and so I went to hide a bit in the bathroom. I mean, I needed to calm down. Luckily Lana was not in there.

----------------------------------------------------------------

I found Tim, Shameeka and Ling Su waiting for me nearby the bathroom. They looked a bit worried.

****

Ling Su: Mia, are you ok?

****

Me: Yeah. Don't worry! Be happy! _(Oh and that answer was so NOT pathetic!)_

****

Shameeka: But do you know why Lana…?

****

Me: _(ironically)_ Oh, she tried to dye her hair this morning. Didn't turn out as she wanted. Kind of blames me for it. _(with a wink)_ I have no idea why though.

****

Shameeka: You didn't!

****

Me: Yes, I did!

****

Ling Su: OMG! You're so dead!

****

Me _(with a sigh)_**:** Oh, yeah!

****

Tim: And which colour is it?

****

Me: Well, green of course.

****

Shameeka: How green?

****

Me: Don't know. Haven't seen the results yet. Still hoping though. The thing is, I had to escape quickly.

****

Tim: And why did you…?

****

Me: She dyed Fat Louie purple. Wanted to see how she'd like it herself!

__

At that moment, my heart stopped as I spotted Michael at the other hand of the hall, coming towards us.

****

Me _(with a forced laugh)_**:** Oh, hihi! Tim! You're so funny!

****

Tim: What? But… Oh yeah. I'm betting Moscovitz is around…

****

Me _(whispering)_**:** Shh! Yep! Can't you play around?

****

Tim _(putting his arm around me)_**:** Mia, do you know why I love you so?

****

Me _(still whispering though in a hissing sort of way)_**: **Not that kind of plays, you silly! The I-have-such-good-friends-and-therefore-don't-give-a-damn-about-you kind of plays!

****

Tim: Right! So as I was saying, the reason why I love you so is that you're… huh, such a great buddy!

****

Me _(laughing for real now)_**: **Happy to see I'm not the only blubbering idiot around here.

****

Tim _(pretending to be hurt)_**: **Hey! Man, you make me look like a fool!

And then, as we were gonna pass up Michael, I saw him open his mouth, move his lips to eventually utter my name. (I swear it was like in a slow motion).

****

Michael: Mia.

****

Me _(surprised)_**: **Michael?

****

Michael: We need to speak.

****

Me _(uncomfortable)_**:** Did y-you, uh, get m-my e-mail?

****

Michael: Yes. Could we go somewhere and speak about it?

__

And the bell rang! My luck! Though I'm not sure I would have liked what Michael was about to tell me anyhow.

****

Me: Sorry, have to go to class!

****

Michael: See you in G&T then.

****

Me _(still nervous)_**: **Yeah, ok.

And so I was doomed to stress and obsess for most of the rest of the day, as G&T was my last period. Or so I thought.

But something else happened. Something which made me forget about Michael for a little while. Yeah, just for a little while.

And that thing had something to do with Lana. Yeah. Apparently Lana had really been thinking she'd succeed to hide her hair all day long.

But Mrs Spears really hates people to wear caps or hats in class and so she asked Lana to take off her hat. I guess Mr. G. had not mentioned the problem to the other teachers after all.

Lana refused, of course. Mrs Spears got angry and decided she'd do it herself. Take off Lana's hat I mean.

But Lana lost her nerves and, slapped -yes, slapped!- Mrs Spears in the face.

The shock on the face of Mrs Spears! In fact everybody was so shocked… nobody even uttered a sound for a whole 3 minutes. And then Mrs Spears pulled off Lana's hat anyhow.

And everybody got to see Lana's new colour! And OMG, that was an ugly green! A –excuse my French- shitish kind of green. And well everybody started to laugh their guts out. Yeah, me too!

Mrs Spears was still in rage though. Because of the slapping incident. So she didn't have any sympathy left for Lana. She sent her to Gupta's office. I heard she got three weeks' detention. Plus she has to write a five-page essay on the subject: "Respecting one's teachers".

Not enough to my taste! But still something. Lana really deserved what happened to her, if you want my opinion.

On top of which, I heard Lilly ask Lana in Biology, if she'd like to do the show tonight. Well done, Lilly. Too bad you're not my friend anymore. Of course Lana didn't appreciate Lilly's humour…

****

Lana: Oh shut up Moscovitz! You know I can't go, with my hair! So don't bug me!

And also the whole class kept gossiping on what was going on with Lana… It was so good to see Lana take a sip of her own medicine!

__

OMG, the bell is ringing! And now it's time to go to G&T. I don't know if I'll live to write what will happen (Might die of heart attack because of what Michael has to say or might be murdered by Lana on the way)… but I sure hope things will go smoothly.


	12. Be smart don't try to dicodance, and

Thanks to all my six reviewers. You guys are great!

DISCLAIMER: Yeah, yeah, I own nothing. Princess Diaries is Meg Cabot's. And Wake up Girl is Lambretta's. Wanted to write the poem myself but I suck at writing poems, especially in English.

Also it's the same song which is used for the chapter's title… only I didn't remember the order correctly then. (I have no memory whatsoever).

Anyhow read and enjoy! (hopefully).

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I was about to enter the classroom (for G&T), when someone behind me seized my hand. Gosh, that gave my heart quite a jump!

See, I had known I wasn't gonna live up to the end of the day.

I froze on the spot (clear sign of the beginning of a heart attack) and remained thus for a couple of seconds, uncertain what to do.

I mean I was unsure whether the person who had seized my hand was actually Michael or –which would have been bad- Lana or even someone else.

For all I knew it could even have been Kenny begging me to have him back.

Or worse –and that's a nightmarish vision- Grandmère who'd come to try to convince me to go back to Princess lessons. I could already imagine the scene:

****

GM: Amelia, you don't want to come to Princess Lessons. Fine. Princess Lessons will come to you!

I have seen your principal, and arranged everything. I will now teach you during G&T!

Pretty creepy, huh!

With that in mind, I started to turn around very, very slowly, my heart pounding loudly and my soul filled with fear (Wow, I'm getting so good with the dramatic effects. So, ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but I was really scared of what or rather who I was going to face) only to end up staring at the most beautiful eyes ever.

Namely, Michael Moscovitz's eyes!

Ah! What a charming view! In fact the second most beautiful sight in the whole world after –no, not Fat Louie! Especially not in purple. Not forgetting is hair is still shortish. Not Michael's hair, Fat Louie's- well, let's be honnest, after Michael's naked body!

God, I'm such a pervert. And vulgar on top of that. Seems like I do really need to go back to Princess lessons. NOT

****

Me _(trying to sound sensual, so that he would fall for me again. But I'm telling you, it's not all that easy)**:**_ Michael!

****

Michael: Mia, come with me!

****

Me: But shouldn't we go to G&T?

****

Michael: I don't give a damn about G&T! It's not like Mrs Hill is gonna show up and check who's there anyway. _(Point taken, I mean we all know how Mrs Hill is like.)_

He didn't wait for me to answer and started to pull me by the hand. Things went like in a blur.

I mean I just followed him –or rather I let him pull me all the way, I was too much in an emotional turmoil to really do something anyhow, wondering where we were going and what was gonna happen.

We passed the girls' bathroom (from where I could hear Lana raging alone: "My hair! My beautiful hair! Gone! All because of that slut! I can't believe it. She's so gonna pay…", I didn't hear what came after that though), climbed the stairs, hid in a corner to avoid the janitor, climbed some more stairs and ended up on the roof.

At the very same place where my friends –that is to say, before half of them decided I was not worth speaking to, and I had been plotting against Lana. Sigh.

Wasn't that the good old time? Sure Lana and Grandmère were already spoiling my life then, but nothing that serious yet.

And I do wonder about something: why on earth didn't I let Wahim annihilate Lana on that day? And I'm only half-kidding.

So there we stopped, and, before I could even realise what was going on, Michael lips crashed on mine.

Yes, that's right, he kissed me. And I'm not speaking about a small smack. No, I'm speaking about a long, passionate kiss.

So long, I even started to wonder if it would ever end. Not that I was complaining anyhow. On the contrary, I was enjoying it a lot.

But one has to breathe every once and a while, in order not to die.

I guess I'm somewhat of an easy girl. I mean there I was, kissing –or, more precisely, Frenching- the very same guy I had called jerk the night before. And loving every second of it!

So, ok, the jerk in question also happens to be the man (Michael, unlike Kenny, definitely qualifies as a man!) with whom I had been in love for like my ENTIRE life, but still.

Michael eventually pulled away. He, too, must have realised that breathing was an important thing to do. Besides kissing.

Though thinking about it, I wish breathing could be as enjoyable as kissing. In the kissing Michael register, not the kissing Kenny one.

Anyhow back to Michael and I… So the only thing I was able to do, after inhaling some oxygen of course, was to say: WOW!

After all it was only our second kiss ever. Except if you count that time when I was six and… but that's another story.

So as I was saying, it was only our second kiss –of the French sort, and I was still surprised that Frenching could feel so good, when saliva was actually shared with the right person.

Plus, I hadn't been thinking we would get to that stage again, considering the events that had occurred lately.

At that point I realised that things were not fine. Not yet anyway. Michael had been right, we really had to speak. (Once again, I'm not at all against the kissing part, but I wanted to know what were Michael's intentions).

I was waiting to see if Michael was going to apologise or something but the first thing he said was:

****

Michael: So you liked it, uh?

****

Me: Sure did, but…

****

Michael: You know Thermopolis, your altercation with Lana in the cafeteria was pretty much of a blaze. Gave Lana quite a shock.

****

Me _(smiling)_**:** Oh, that! And that would be… the reason why you're kissing me?

****

Michael: Oh, no! To be honest, I think I like the sweet, shy, nice and fragile Mia best.

****

Me _(wondering if that was a compliment or a criticism)_**:** Listen Michael, Lana has made my life a living hell! So I'm done being nice with her! And if you're not happy with that, well, there is nothing I can do.

****

Michael: Wait! No! That's so not what I meant! I just meant I love the different aspects of your personality, some of which actually make me go all tingly for you. But I totally approve of what you've done with Lana. I mean, whatever was her problem anyway?

****

Me: Oh, so you've not seen her hair yet.

****

Michael: No, why?

****

Me _(smiling again)_**:** You'll see soon enough. So was there something you wanted to tell me?

****

Michael _(suddenly shy)_**: **Yes, well… you see, well… I love you! I have been a jerk, I know, but will you be m-my girlfriend?

****

Me _(gleaming of happiness)_**: **There is nothing I'd like more.

__

And our lips locked again. But there were still some things I needed to ask Michael.

****

Me: Michael, do you or do you not believe me when I say I've never done anything with Josh or with anybody else?

****

Michael: Yes, I believe you. You know, I've been thinking a lot last night. And I don't think you're the kind of girl who… well, you know.

****

Me _(rolling my eyes)_**:** Yes, I know. … I've been thinking a lot too. At the beginning I couldn't understand how you could have thought I had been having sex with someone.

Then I realised it was after all somewhat believable. I mean, many girls do already have sex that early in their life. And what with that pervert side of me who keeps having flashbacks about your naked body?

****

Michael _(very surprised)_**:** Flashbacks of my naked body? When did you see me naked?

__

OMG! Why, but WHY am I so stupid? I knew I was going to screw up with that sooner or later. I have to find some lie, quick! I can't tell him I had been spying from his closet that one time.

****

Me: Haha! No, not flashbacks! I meant, uh, some visions, or something. You know! Teenager! Fantasies!

****

Michael: What?

****

Me: Duh, I'm obsessing about you, ok! I know it's bad but I can't help it.

****

Michael _(sounding very pleased, for some reason. Hello, shouldn't he be shocked to learn his girlfriend is a pervert?! Then again, he is turned on by the mere view of the limo, so…)_**: **Are you? Wow. …Well, you know obsessing about guys' naked body would in fact be very, very bad, I mean if the body belonged to Josh or Kenny or anybody else, but if it's mine, well then it's fine.

****

Me: Really? But why? How would that be different?

****

Michael _(a bit embarrassed)_**:** Uh… because… you see, ah, of course, because I'm your boyfriend!

****

Me: Yes, but Kenny was my boyfriend too.

****

Michael: True! But this is completely different because, uh, I'm older than Kenny is and therefore I am responsible enough, uh, not to take advantage of the situation, uh yet. Voilà. _(blushing)_

****

Me: But Josh is as old as you are!

****

Michael: Josh is a moron. I, on the other hand, have been accepted to Colombia early decision.

****

Me: But…

****

Michael: Will you quit but-ing me! The reason that you can obsess about me is that I already know what are your conditions: first, we'd have to date one year, and then I'll have to bring you to see "The Beauty and the Beast", right?

****

Me _(laughing)_**:** Right.

****

Michael: Of course, I consider we started dating the day we first kissed.

****

Me: Ok. Fine with me.

****

Michael: I mean, that time when you had come home to play with Lilly and I stole your Barbie and wouldn't give it back to you unless you'd kiss me on the lips. Gosh, you were like 6! Therefore we totally qualify for the more-than-one-year's-dating requirement!

****

Me _(secretly pleased to see Michael remembered that kissing_ _incident as well)_**:** OMG! You're as perverted as I am! I can't believe it.

****

Michael: Nay. Don't worry, Thermopolis, we won't do anything till we're both totally ready! Which won't be before some time… So lets' enjoy the dating, Frenching and maybe, why not, a little bit of second base action, before we move on to the next stage.

__

I felt my cheeks burning at the idea of what it would feel like to be "second-based" by Michael. Not to forget we might go a step further after a while! OMG! I can't believe that Michael and I have been speaking about having sex, SEX!! Hardly the way to start a relationship, when you're 14! I'm a sick person! Although thinking about it, Lana and her friends are speaking about it quite often.

Also Lilly has already gone to second base with Boris! Isn't that sickening?

In conclusion, maybe I'm just your average teenager…Though from Mr.G's reaction to Lana's hot talks with Josh the other day, I'm guessing I shouldn't even think about it –sex, I mean.

---------------------------------------------------

I was in such a good mood after my little open-hearted "chat" with Michael, that I called mom to make peace with her.

I told her that I was gonna stay at Ronnie's for a couple of days, seeing as Lana had threatened to kill Fat Louie and all.

But of course, I said, she'll get to see me a lot considering Ronnie is our neighbour, only she mustn't tell Lana where I and Fat Louie were gonna be, otherwise she might rush in and who knows what would happen?

Mom, who was relieved to know I was not going to wander alone in the streets of Manhattan, agreed to let me stay at Ronnie's indeed. Or maybe she was just happy because I was not avoiding her any more.

Or then she was relieved because she'd thought the loft would become a gigantic war-zone with her in the middle.

Michael and I then headed back to G&T, hand in hand. Which Lilly didn't seem to appreciate:

"Hey dorkus, she said to Michael, what on earth do you think you're doing?"

To which Michael simply answered: "Spending time with my girlfriend, of course."

We both went to sit nearby Tim. I mean, I was not gonna dump Tim as a friend, just because I had my boyfriend back. Tim had been so nice to me when I needed a friend…

I was glad to see Tim and Michael started to sympathise.

Also I'm very proud to say that, although I could hardly take my eyes off my boyfriend –boyfriend, isn't that word wonderful?, I succeeded to write the last line of my poem. The one I'm gonna send to the poetry contest.

Wouldn't it be great if I won the contest? Wishful thinking, I know. But one can always dream.

I mean, I used to dream that I'd become Michael's girlfriend and now I'm his girlfriend for real!

Anyhow here's my poem, it's called "Wake up Girl" (aka Ode to Lana's complex way of thinking). It just describes so well the way Lana has been treating all of us unpopular girls.

Dumb girl

Did you see the latest Vogue?

Has it ever occurred to you

That you don't fit the latest trend?

Dumb , dumb girl

Can't you see you're such a joke?

When was the last time your cellphone rang?

Babygirl let's not pretend!

Be smart – don't try to discodance, and

Sweetheart – don't even come at all.

Wake up girl,

All the beautiful ones are laughing,

Wake up girl,

All the beautiful boys are forever taken - girl!

Dumb girl,

You could always be like us,

Do your boobs and a nosejob too,

And don't forget about the smile

But 'til then

Keep a distance on the bus.

Take a look at my beeper now,

That's a number not to dial

---------------------------------------------------------------

After G&T, Michael and I headed to the limo, followed by Lilly's furious glare.

Lars had been surprised when he'd seen us coming hand in hand. He even faked disgust!

Poor Lars, I knew he was frustrated on account of what was NOT going on with Miss Klein.

But I felt good. Life was great again! It was back on track and I could not have been happier.

Ok that's not true! I could have been happier had Lilly and Tina still been my friends. Also, and that's a major factor for happiness, had Lana been eaten by aliens or something.

But still life was nice. I mean, I could now make out with Michael in the limo. Definitely one of my favourite hobbies.

And that's exactly what I was doing –making out, I mean- when someone opened the door on us.

I had been so absorbed in my making out session that I had not noticed we had arrived in front of my building.

Unfortunately the person who had opened the door was no other than GRANDMÈRE herself.

What the hell was she doing here?

"Amelia, she snorted, what in your right mind do you think you are doing?"

I wanted to answer: "Duh! Kissing a hot man, of course! Can't you see it by yourself" but instead I jumped out of the car and asked: "Grandmère! What are you doing here?"

****

GM: Mia, there is an emergency. Come with me now!

__

At that point I started laughing. I don't know if it was nervous or hysterical, but really what was she thinking?

Hello! I was not going to fall for the same trick once again.

****

Me: Grandmère, I'm not going anywhere with you, not ever again!

****

GM: But how dare you? My poor child, I'm afraid you have lost your manners! I'm your grandmère and the dowager princess of Genovia, don't I deserve a little respect from my own granddaughter?

****

Me: Oh, no! You don't! I don't remember you showing me any respect when you forced me to hospital!

****

GM: I was doing it for your own good! And for Genovia! You ought to be grateful!

****

Me: Sure! Screw you!

****

GM _(Shocked beyond words)_**:** Amelia!

****

Me: Now if you will… I was in the middle of something very important, so would you mind leaving already?

****

GM: Oh! I doubt kissing that… that " common boy" _(and she said that with disgust)_ is in fact of any importance. Unless you want the tabloid to get a hand at it as well. But your last caprice gave us enough trouble already. What with all the rumours!

__

I couldn't believe it! She was being totally unfair! Which was not untypical of Grandmère, though. Of course, I had nothing to do with the rumours. It had been the work of Lana and of Grandmère herself! If only she hadn't brought me to hospital, there wouldn't have been any picture!

****

Me: So what's the emergency anyhow? Rommel lost his last hair? They forgot to bring you your afternoon tea at the plaza? My breasts are not getting any bigger?

****

GM: Don't be silly, Amelia. It's far more serious than that!

****

Me: Something happened to dad?

****

GM: No, of course not!

****

Me: So, bye then Grandmère. It has been a pleasure to speak with you, as usual.

****

GM: Amelia, listen to me! Your former boyfriend is suing us for the loss of his baby!

****

Me: Kenny? Nah! He would never do that!

****

GM: No, Josh Richter!

****

Me: Ah! As if! He was never my boyfriend! We never slept together! And there was never any baby! Not much of a story there. So there's really no way he could win anyhow!

****

GM: But we have to be weary! We must design a defence strategy!

****

Me: And I'm sure you can do that on your own! Oh, why don't you call the press and explain to them that the reason I had been crying on my way out of the hospital was that you're a sick person, who loves to torture me?

And with that last comment I went inside the building, followed by Michael and Lars.

I was once again proud of myself! I sure had become much more assertive than I used to be!

I would never have dared to oppose Grandmère in the past.

But with sufferance had come will power!


	13. sweetheart, don't even come at all

Would have updated earlier but couldn't cause Fanfiction was not working. Snif.

Thanks to all my reviewers. Also for those who actually liked or at least respected my other story!

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Monkeys-r-us: So that you don't die in suspense not knowing if the story is gonna end soon or not: I think there will be only one or two chapters after this one. Then, maybe a new story, if I find the time to write. Thanks for your review! You're the one who's nifty!

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Heini: So you never answered my question on good Finnish music? BTW and I'm dying to know- are you PrincessfromFinland?

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Jackie: As I already said, you're definitely a sweetie. Thanks so much for reviewing! Oh and more Tina and Lilly in next chapter!

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ColeForever16: Sadly, I don't think I can have Michael mash Josh's face. He would then be charged for assault! That'd be too bad!

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Denise: I always write nice and long chappies. ;) Oh and I won't be writing more for my other story. It was just a one-shot.

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Jess and **Calista-star**: You both rock! Thanks for making me so happy by reviewing.

Did I forget anybody?

DISCLAIMER: Yes, you know it and I know it too. I don't own much in there. I was too lazy to make up my own characters and stole them from Meg Cabot.

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The weekend went fine. As planned, Fat Louie and I stayed at Ronnie's most of the time, hiding from Lana. I have to say that life without Lana is really MUCH better!

And I think everybody –even Josh – would agree about that! I mean even Mr: G. –her own father- doesn't seem that thrilled about having Lana around.

Not to mention Lana's mother: I know she's expected to be very witchy and all. Yeah, that's right a nightmarish mix between Lana and Grandmère. Horrifying, much! Hello! I can see the pawns of Satan at work there.

Anyway, in spite of all that, she literally ran away from Lana to enjoy herself in Europe; that is to say as far away as possible from Lana! Plus, she's been extending her trip ever since! That's a sign!

My mood-swinging pregnant mom came to visit us every now and then. Which gave her an excuse to be away from the loft, that is to say, from Lana. Understandable, huh.

I had been making out intensely with Michael on Friday night and, God, that was SO good!

I know, maybe I should have restrained myself a bit from those passionate exchanges of saliva, considering we had been dating only for a couple of hours! But heck, who cares?

Ok, Grandmère cares but she is just an old frustrated shrimp so…

Plus it's not like she was staying at Ronnie's with us. Thanks God!

Anyhow, I don't care what Grandmère thinks. As a matter of fact, I'm not gonna speak or even think about her ever again.

Gosh, I can't get her out of my head! Speak about bad luck!

Anyway, when Michael came back to see me on Saturday morning, he'd brought me a little present.

Nothing wonderful, NOT like a ring, a necklace or two tickets for the Beauty and the Beast…

I mean, I know Michael isn't much into that show and would rather go to one of the Britney Spears' concerts –yep, that's how much he dislikes the Beauty and the Beast… Thinking about it, I wouldn't mind going to Britney's concerts…- but I thought he might have bought the tickets anyhow, cause you know, with his libido and all.

So, it was not something especially wonderful, but it made me truly happy.

Ok, maybe I'm a bit pathetic, as it was just a pair of Queen Amidala socks!

Hardly what I was expecting when he had told me he had a little something for me.

I mean, I'm certainly not going to wear them at school cause, duh! Lana would be too happy to laugh at them… but, still, it was just so cute of him.

He must have noticed my love for Queen Amidala accessories that day when he'd saved my underwear from Lana.

Seriously, isn't Michael the most adorable guy on Earth? Gosh, I'm SO in love.

Plus, Michael and I spent a wonderful afternoon together! We went to the movies (Yay, more making out!) and then we had dinner at Number One Noodle Son. And it was just all so perfect.

Have I mentioned already that I'm totally in love with Michael?

But then Michael asked:

****

Michael: So, do we go to my place for the rest of the evening?

****

Me: Uh, I don't think so! I'd like to, sure, but…

****

Michael: Oh no! You're not going to start but-ing me again!

****

Me: But, duh… Lilly!

****

Michael: Lilly what?

****

Me: Lilly is just so mad at me; and I don't especially want to see her right now.

****

Michael _(rubbing his head)_**:** Well, we can just ignore her and stay in my room!

****

Me: As if we could! It's Lilly we are speaking about!

****

Michael: Come on, Thermopolis. I have been spending years of my life either trying to piss Lilly off or then just ignoring her! As a matter of fact I have a very good technique. Want me to teach you?

****

Me: So you're telling me all you've ever achieved in your life was Lilly related?

****

Michael: Nonsense, Thermopolis! You know I'm a genius, and that's not only inborn knowledge! I actually have had to work hard for it! Plus, my best achievement ever is definitely Mia related!

****

Me: How so?

****

Michael: Well, I did eventually seduce you, didn't I? Which actually proves all those hours spent in front of the mirror checking out my seductive grin were of some use! Ha! Not to mention the working out and the walking around half-naked strategy!

****

Me: Ah, ah! So you're telling me the great masculine Michael Moscovitz spends hours in front of the mirror! Way to go Michael! I guess that makes you more of a girlie girl than of a manly man!

****

Michael: Jeez! Thanks, Thermopolis! But you sure seemed to enjoy making out with that girlie girl you have instead of a boyfriend!

****

Me: Oh, yeah! I did! Do you want to do it again, by the way?

****

Michael: Yes, and that's why we have to go to my place right away, Lilly or no Lilly!

****

Me: But why can't we just go at Ronnie's?

****

Michael: Excuse me, Princess of my heart, but I actually enjoy Frenching you best when you're mom is not popping up every 5 minutes!

****

Me: Point taken!

****

Michael: Plus my bed is very comfy, you know!

****

Me _(hitting him –slightly- in the ribs)_**:** Hey! You haven't brought me to see the Beauty and the Beast yet, remember, huh?

****

Michael: Yep, I know that all too well! But, in any case, it'd be comfy to make out there and there wouldn't be any fat cat monopolising the space!

****

Me _(getting angry)_**:** Fat Louie is not fat! He is just a little plump!

__

So what? I know Fat Louie is fat! Duh, his name is **Fat** Louie! But still, I have some responsibilities towards him. I just can't let Michael insult him that way.

****

Michael: Have I ever told you how sexy you are when you get angry?

****

Me _(dropping the Fat Louie subject altogether, and giggling stupidly)_**:** Am I?

And so we went on like that, exchanging all kind of nonsense (but good nonsense, not Kenny –like nonsense) until we arrived at the Moscovitzes'.

Where we surprised Lilly playing darts. On a picture of Lana.

I'm so relieved that it was not MY picture!

Anyway, she did seem genuinely happy to see me. NOT.

****

Lilly: Great, dumb and dumber are here!

****

Michael _(obviously ignoring Lilly, as he had said he would)_**:** So Mia, as you can see, my parents are away. We will have the whole apartment for ourselves! Isn't that awesome?

****

Lilly: Duh, I'm here!

****

Michael _(winking at me)_**:** So what do you wanna do? Should we, like, make out in my room or then we could also make out in the kitchen or if you really insist we could make out in the bathroom… Anything you want, princess.

****

Lilly: You guys are so gross!

****

Me _(trying very hard to ignore Lilly as well)_**:** I don't know. I would like to try something a bit different for once. What about, huh, making out in the living room?

****

Michael _(laughing)_**:** I dunno. I'm afraid Pavlov would get all excited and all. So, let's go to my room!

****

Me: Ok.

****

Lilly _(grabbing my harm as I was going away)_**:** How dare you? Don't you think you owe me some excuses or something?

__

Wow! Lilly was really mad at that point. I was about to answer something but before I had had the chance to, Michael had come to my rescue.

****

Michael: Lilly, do you realise that you're being extremely rude? And Mia is expected to be your best friend! Gosh, your manners are even worse than Pavlov's!

****

Lilly _(shocked)_**:** Are you comparing me to Pavlov?

****

Michael: Sure am! Although Pavlov doesn't seem to be suffering from the rabies… Which is more than I can say for you.

****

Lilly: But I, huh….

****

Michael: Good night, Lilly!

And then we went to Michael's room! We didn't start making out right away though. I was far too depressed with Lilly's behaviour!

I mean how could she be that mean to me? Plus she's the one who owes me excuses!

I don't owe her anything!

And Michael too was raging because of Lilly. "I can't believe she's being so bitchy with you!", he exclaimed, "How can she be so stupid? It's obvious that you didn't do anything!"

After which I had to remind him that he too had believed all the rumours and had behaved like a jerk to me. "It must be running in the family", I added.

And Michael actually had the decency to look somewhat ashamed. But God, he was so cute like that, with his cheeks flushed and his eyes cast down, I felt like jumping his bones.

But didn't.

After some more making out and cuddling and such, I couldn't bring myself to head back home –or rather at Ronnie's- so Michael and I stayed together and spoke about a thousand and one things.

It really felt great to be able to share all my little secrets with him. Ok not ALL my little secrets! Some things are just too private!

Plus it's not like I'm gonna tell him that my nostrils flare when I'm lying.

Or that I hardly ever listen to a word of what he says when he tutors me in algebra.

Or even how I measure the size of my breasts everyday to see if they would eventually start growing. Which sadly they are not!

Cause, hello, I don't want to point out my total lack of shapes in the chestal area when he might not have noticed it, yet!

Yeah, Mia, keep dreaming!

Anyhow, I ended up falling asleep and therefore spent the night at the Moscovitzes'. In Michael's room. In his bed. In his arms!!

Oh what a night! Ok, so nothing happened but still!

Unfortunately Lilly does seem to believe something happened. You should have seen her face at breakfast!

With her reproachful glaze, and her snotty facial expressions… I almost felt like slapping her.

Uh, bad thoughts! Not very princessy of me! I'm mean!

Oh my goody, I'm some kind of a…. huh, of a, a… a Lana! Oh, how I hate myself, let me count the ways!

Sunday was nice too, although I couldn't be with Michael much. Cause we both had tons of homework to do. And even though I don't really care all that much about my own homework, Michael does!

But I used my brand-new cell-phone quite a lot –more precisely: I stayed over the phone for ages- to chat with Shameeka and Ling Su. And of course with Michael! I'm gonna be so dead when mom gets the bill!

The only bad things about Sunday were those three phone calls I hadn't been expecting. And I actually wouldn't have minded never receiving them!

The first one was from René! René! How the hell did he get my cell-phone number anyhow?

Oh yeah, that's right! Grandmère!

And why was he calling? To ask me at what time he should pick me up Wednesday night?

All I could answer was "Huh?", as I had no clue what he was speaking about.

So he had to explain things to me. Like how Grandmère had just called him and begged him to be my escort to that charity ball which was to take place next Wednesday!

Yeah, that's right! A ball I had never even heard about in my entire life!

Why, but why, am I stuck with such a grandmother!

On top of which she apparently told him I couldn't find a date of my own! Thanks, Grandmère!

Remember Michael, my BOYFRIEND! Wouldn't he qualify as the perfect date! Grr!

Anyway I told René that he could go to the ball with Lana, for all I cared, but that I was not going to even set a foot in there!

But that of course was before both Dad and Grandmère called me and harassed me into finally agreeing to go to that damn ball with René.

And I thought I had become assertive!

The good point is I succeeded to argue a bit and got some advantages out of all that mess.

Of course I started saying I was going to abdicate… but it turns out that, according to Genovian law, I'm not allowed to abdicate before I turn 21…

But, as my father heavily insisted for me to go to the ball to shut all the silly rumours up and show that members of the Genovian Royal family are not easily shattered (Sorry dad, but I am!), I agreed I would go only if:

- Grandmère was to give a press conference extremely soon to clear out things about the hospital visit.

AND

- I could choose myself where to spend my summer break

But then Grandmère called to harass me more and argue about the situation with me.

We eventually cut a deal. And even though things are not all pleasant for me, I think I got the better end of it.

Things I'll have to do:

- go to the charity ball with René. She wouldn't agree to let me take Michael. Sigh. Sure, Michael will love to know I'm gonna spend the evening with another guy!

- call René to apologise and beg him to take me to the charity ball (re-sigh)

- let Grandmère bring me to Chanel on Monday evening and choose my dress for the ball.

- Go to the plaza on Wednesday before the ball to have my make up, my nails and my hair done.

- Accept not to spend my summer break in the States. And Grandmère was so very happy with that! Of course, she doesn't know dad has allowed me to choose where to go. Ha! ha! And I, not being a total moron, never agreed I'd spend summer break in Genovia instead of the States! There are tons of other countries I could go to!

Yeah, Grandmère, I too can be manipulative!

I think I'm gonna tour Europe –starting with Iceland- with Michael.

Advantages I get:

- I still don't have to go back to Princess Lessons. Relief!

- Grandmère is indeed organising a press conference for Monday morning.

- I get 100 dollars for each hour I will have to spend getting ready for and staying at the ball.

Which means for once I'm gonna do my best to stay as long as possible.

I was thinking I'd give the money to Greenpeace, but I'm gonna keep for my summer break trip with Michael.

- Grandmère will take care alone of all issues concerning Josh's ridiculous claims.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yet another school day in my exciting life…

And the day didn't start all that well. I mean Michael had a computer club meeting early and so I didn't see him in the morning.

Lilly and Tina are still avoiding me.

And, worse of it all, not only are most of the cheerleaders and jocks still in speaking terms with Lana –despite all rumours of Lana being completely psycho- but, and that's really depressing, Lana's hair are also back to normal!

In fact she came to me and said I could thank my grandmother who'd brought her to the best hair specialists' so that her hair would be taken care of.

Jeez! Thanks Grandmère! You're always such a great help for me!

But why was I even surprised?

Grandmère always, ALWAYS, does everything to ruin my life! Including helping out my worst enemies!

Plus, Josh was waiting for me after Algebra to "have a little chat with me".

He told me never to set a finger on Lana's hair again.

"Why should you care?," I asked, "You guys aren't even together anymore".

To which Josh just answered they were gonna be, soon again. What a surprise! Like they are not breaking up and making up every 5 minutes anyhow! Pfff!

Anyway, Josh didn't scare me much. Michael would never let him do anything bad to me!

Not to mention that on my way to lunch I heard Lana tell Lilly that she wanted to have her interviewed for "Lilly Tells It Like It Is" tonight.

Great, I'm sure they both will be so happy to stab me in the back! Those two could even become friends!

Life is too UNFAIR!

Although I have the best boyfriend ever! Yay!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

God, I SO love Shameeka!

She's like my saviour!

Thumbs up for Shameeka!

I was having lunch with Shameeka, Ling Su, Tim and Michael (Yes, he finally showed up!) and, of course, I was acting all depressed because things are back to normal for Lana; when my own life is not yet back to normal! Though it's improving.

Tim and Michael were not paying much attention to my whining –although Michael kept brushing his leg against mine- as they were too busy fighting over which of the Beatles songs is the best.

But Ling Su and Shameeka were!

****

Me: And you know, almost nobody saw Lana with her shitty green hair! Only people from our English class!

****

Ling Su: Yes, but others have heard about it.

****

Me: But it's not the same!

****

Shameeka: Girls, girls! I happen to have taken a pic of Lana with her green hair!

****

Ling Su: You have? When? How?

****

Shameeka: With my cell-phone camera. In English class! We just have to have it circulating!

****

Me: Maybe we could have it printed. Then we could pin it to the cafeteria board.

****

Shameeka: Or better! We could spread it through the net.

****

Me: Yeah! Same thing she did with my poem!

****

Tim _(eventually noticing what we were speaking about)_**:** Are you nuts? Don't you think Lana and Josh would come back at us afterwards! Meaning: It'd be foolish to do a thing like that!

****

Me: Tim, "It takes a fool to remain sane!", you know the song. I say we go for it!

****

Ling Su: Maybe we could get someone to work on the e-mail so that Lana can't trace us up.

__

And we all gave Michael a meaningful look! I mean he's the best computer geek ever!

****

Michael: What? Me?

****

Me: No, Kenny! Yes, you silly!

****

Michael: Ok Beavis, I'll do it.

****

Me: Thanks Butt-head!

****

Michael: Actually, I have even a better idea…

****

Me, Tim, Ling Su and Shameeka _(together)_**:** What?

****

Michael: I'm gonna change the data so that it'd look like… Josh sent the picture!

****

Me: Oh yeah! That'd be terrific! And they wouldn't get back together either, after that. Or at least not yet!

****

Ling Su: Plus they BOTH deserve it!

****

Me: Yeah, so let's throw the cow!

****

Michael: Huh? Mia, are you again on codeine!

****

Me: Gosh, you're all tiring me with the codeine joke! It's carbon-dated! Plus, why don't you ever understand when I'm trying to insert some kind of cultural reference in my speech?

****

Michael: Sorry, Mia, but you know I'm not that much into all those sappy movies you love to watch!

****

Me _(indignant)_**:** That was not from a sappy movie!

****

Michael: Well, I'm not much into watching Baywatch either…

****

Me _(hitting him with my diary)_**:** Duh, that was from that Holy Grail Monty Python movie we had been watching with Lilly in August! You know, when the French throw the cow at the English!

****

Michael: If you say so! But let's go accomplish our mischief, Dr. Evil.

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Have you guys been thinking that:

- since PD will go on until Mia is out of high school

- since it takes like 5 books for a school year,

- and there are still 3 years to cover up…

That means we won't know the end of PD before 15 years, as Meg writes only a book a year?

Gasp of horror!


	14. Dumb girl, you could always be like us

Hiya girls! Sorry it took me some time to update but… I had a kind of writer's block. I mean I knew exactly what should happen in the chapter but I couldn't find a way to write it. At least not a way which satisfied me. But I've done it finally. Though I'm not totally and completely happy about it, I think it's good enough now to post it so that you won't die waiting for an update.

As you will notice, it's not yet the final instalment. The next update should be, though.

Thanks for all the nice people who reviewed!

Jackie, I'm so sorry that you've had to wait so long.

Annamillion, the reason Mia thought Michael liked her car is that… Mia is terribly dense! Also, I agree with you, I should have more reviews. ;) Thanks for helping me getting more by reviewing.

DISCLAIMER: Gosh, I'm so tired of that damn discalimer. But anyhow I do not owe much. I got inspired (Huh… more than inspired) to write this story because of the wonderful books of Meg Cabot.

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Gosh, we have had so much fun sending Lana's picture to the whole school via e-mail!

Actually Michael didn't even have to work much on it. It took him like five seconds to hack into Josh's account and have the picture sent from it.

I can't wait until Lana and the rest of the school find out about it!

Wouldn't it be great if we could witness some Lana-Josh interaction? Yay, I want some cat fight!

But let's see how it will all go.

I must confess I am still a bit afraid of what could happen to me if Josh found out it comes from us.

I mean he has been threatening me. Kind of!

Although I'm sure Michael is stronger than Josh, I don't want him to get involved in a fight.

I mean, even though I have been fantasising for a whole week that he would so totally reduce Josh's face to pieces.

Plus what if Josh broke Michael's nose! I mean Michael's nose is just so perfect!

Nobody would want something happening to Michael's nose!

Oh but, I'm so stupid! Why do I even bother worrying about that!

I have Lars to take care of that kind of things!

Josh isn't that silly! He wouldn't try anything, knowing there's Lars around!

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I'm in G&T now. Although the period is almost finished…

Some students have already checked their e-mails by now and there's a lot of whispering going around.

In fact there was already a lot of whispering during History! It's a bit of a re-run from last Friday.

But apparently, Lana is still totally blind to the facts! To the picture thingy, I mean.

Which I guess is good in some sort of a way. I mean despite the fact that we're all desperate to know what's gonna happen between Josh and her.

But the thing is she's still noticed that people are actually whispering about her and I can see she's going to go psycho soon. Well, at least that's what it seemed like an hour ago.

She's been checking her make-up and her hair every five minutes. To see if people were not whispering about that.

I also saw her inspecting her teeth with attention in order to get rid of any little piece of salad which might have been left there.

And she asked one of her friend if there was a stain on her skirt or something.

I know that's gonna sound completely demented but I, for once, almost wished Lana were in G&T with us.

That way I might have witnessed her reaction… And now I'm just afraid that all the action is gonna happen right now and I won't ever know…

Ok, I will know cause gossip really travels quicker than light in this school.

But I was kinda hoping I could witness the events.

Ouch!

Lilly, yes LILLY, just sent me a note.

Well, she threw that little slip of paper at my face… I was too caught up in my writing to notice it coming. And let me tell you: it really scared me to death.

I mean I was there, all calm and peaceful, writing quietly in my diary (and holding Michael's hand (with my free hand) who, Michael -not my hand!- by the way was checking my Algebra homework meanwhile) when suddenly some piece of paper violently hits my face.

I nearly jumped!

I wouldn't have known whom it was from if Michael had not exclaimed: "Damn! Lilly, stop being such a child!"

And I have to confess that, like Michael, I thought Lilly had just been throwing the slip of paper out of meanness. Although it's the kind of activity elementary school students would have. Not high school students!

But Lilly's ways have always been mysterious and… wiggy.

Anyway, after a closer look at the slip of paper, I noticed Lilly had been scribbling something inside.

So apparently she's no longer avoiding me.

No, she's trying to confront me… in a rather unpleasant way:

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING WITH MY BROTHER?

SHOULDN'T YOU HAVE LEARNT YOUR LESSON ALREADY? YOU'RE TOO YOUNG FOR SEX!

I HOPE YOU HAVE AT LEAST LEARNT WHAT THE WORD CONTRACEPTIVE MEANS!

And I definitely think avoiding was better!

And maybe she didn't throw the paper at my face because of a mean and childish game but the content of her message is still terribly mean…

I was about to write something back to her when Michael stopped me:

"Mia, don't bother answering to that! Lilly would just be too happy to keep arguing and insulting us. No, the best is to ignore her. That way you won't step down to her level… On top of which Lilly always gets mad when she's being ignored. It will serve her right!"

After two seconds of reflection, I decided Michael was right. And I just put the note aside…

Much to Lilly's dismay.

After which she started raging and throwing tons of notes (all written with capital letters, since it expresses anger best, I guess).

So much for the let's -not-give-her-the-chance-to-insult-us-more theory!

She took the opportunity anyway!

#2

SO? WON'T YOU ANSWER MY NOTE?

#3

YOU, LOSERS!

Jeez! Lilly seriously needs to chill! What's her childhood trauma anyway? Is it linked to 8 years old Michael's re-looking of her little ponies (after which most of them turned bald)?

#4

AS MUCH AS I ENJOYED RECEIVING LANA'S UGLY PICTURE (SO I CAN PRACTICE DARTS EVEN MORE). I'M NOT STUPID ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY BELIEVE JOSH SENT IT. I KNOW YOU (ESPECIALLY MICHAEL) ARE BEHIND THAT: GUYS; YOU'RE IN FOR MAJOR TROUBLES! ALTHOUGH IT IS NOTHING COMPARED TO PREGNANCY!

Ouch again! The beginning was almost civil. I even thought she was trying to be nice… until I got to the last sentence.

#5

YOU KNOW THAT BECAUSE OF YOU I WILL HAVE TO INTERVIEW LANA TONIGHT! JUST BECAUSE I HAD WANTED TO HELP YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE… BUT YOU DON'T EVEN CARE, DO YOU? SPEAK ABOUT FRENDSHIP!

Come on! That's just too unfair! If she was half as assertive and consumerism-free as she claims to be, she would have been able to pull out of it.

#6

YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SURE I WILL WANT TO EDIT ALL THE MEAN THINGS LANA WILL SAY ABOUT YOU!

As if I was not already fully aware that they were going to stab me in the back. I'm telling you, they're gonna become friends before long. Well… secret friends as Lana wouldn't want to be seen with a nerd like Lilly at school.

#7

AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY **BEST** FRIEND!

Who is she kidding? She has totally lost her waters.

She's the one who deserted and betrayed me for no real reason. At least for no logical reason.

But thankfully, Lilly calmed down after that note.

I don't know if she just got tired of it or if she realised she was being completely immature and ridiculous or even if Tina forced her to stop… but I am happy she did. Stop, I mean.

Five minutes to go before the end of the period.

I'm kind of nervous knowing Grandmère's press conference is not very far away.

It's scheduled to start at exactly 5PM. And believe me, it better be! Or I kill Grandmère for letting me stress longer than necessary!

But knowing her she'll ask for extra make-up and to change her gown for the 11th time and to have Rommel put on a nice red and shiny pillow before they can start. Which might delay the beginning of the Press conference!

I don't know if it will be broadcast live. But I'm almost sure it will be all over the news tonight and tomorrow morning.

I wonder what kind of nasty comments the tabloids might come up with.

Although maybe they'll be too scared of Grandmère to even try to write something nasty.

Providing Grandmère won't come up with the nasty bits herself. Which I think she might, knowing her as I do. Sigh of despair.

Oh my God, I knew that would happen!

Why, oh but why? Couldn't she have waited five more minutes?

Well, apparently not. She just checked her e-mails. Lana, I mean.

How do I know it? Well, simply enough, because I can hear some hysterical screaming in the corridor. And I could recognise Lana's voice. I mean after all I have heard it a million times before.

Although usually it was in situations which turned out bad for me, not for her!

Hey, I so welcome the change!

Anyhow, I kind of guessed –not too difficult- that the only reason she would have been screaming was that she eventually discovered the picture.

Although there were other remote possibilities… Like, she would have broken her nail or something.

Everybody in G&T (me and Michael included! Oh and even Lilly!) grabbed their bags and books and other stuff as quickly as possible and rushed out of the room to try to see what was going on.

I mean, yeah, the period was not officially over but there were only a couple of minutes left and it's not like Mrs Hill is gonna check on us anyhow.

In fact she'll most probably not even be curious enough to leave the teachers' quarter and see what's going on.

She wouldn't even react if an elephant were walking around the school. Except maybe if it were eating her lunch.

We discovered Lana in front of Josh's locker. Unfortunately, that also means nearby my locker –which might be out of reach for some time, as I wouldn't want to approach Lana when she has that murderous light in her eyes!

She was screaming all kind of bad words and hitting Josh's locker with her bare hands. Not a good idea if you want my opinion.

Hello! There is no way she's gonna succeed to hurt the locker. Most likely, she'd just hurt herself badly!

From that moment on things went very quickly. So quickly I'm not sure I didn't miss something.

So Josh turned up all worried (and slightly disgusted with Lana's looks and attitude. I mean it's not very good for his reputation if his prospective girlfriend is seen acting like a loony in front of his locker. And as we all know the only thing Josh is really concerned about is his reputation, so…).

"What's wrong with you, babe?" he asked, embarrassed.

At that point Lana seemed to calm down. Which was somewhat of a disappointment.

She took Josh's head into her hands to apparently start… making out? Gosh, I was shocked! I mean, so she is less dumb than I thought and was able to realise it couldn't be from Josh.

I was getting all suspicious, wondering if Lilly had sent her an e-mail telling her what she had figured out herself.

But then, instead of swapping spit, Lana just pulled her hands down very violently. Scratching Josh's face with her long and super sharp nails in the process.

Oh, that was turning uglier than I thought! Maybe I should not have wished for a cat fight, in the first place.

Of course Josh, who had absolutely no idea why Lana would do something like that, started screaming and cursing as well. And yeah, and he slapped her.

Principal Gupta, who had come out of nowhere, started screaming too.

Really, who ever said that Albert Einstein High is the peaceful environment students need to succeed well in their studies?

Hello! It looks much more like we are being cast for "The Days of our Life" than anything else!

And we are in a private school! I wonder what it'd be like in a public school…

Although to be honest, I'm totally responsible for the situation. So I'd rather shut up already.

Anyway, Gupta tried to clear out what was going on and Lana started to explain Josh had sent a picture of her green hair over the net, yadda, yadda, yadda.

And of course Josh denied it (genuinely. I mean he couldn't know) and said Lana was crazy.

So Gupta decided to bring both of them to her office.

Which was a relief as I finally could go fetch my things in my locker.

However Lana turned back just before entering Gupta's office and screamed "Moscovitz!"

At which my heart skipped a beat.

Had she understood that Michael was behind all that? Was Michael going to be in trouble because of me? Why had I been so foolish? Why was life always so unfair?

And then Lana added "Don't forget about the show! I want to do it tonight!"

Oh yeah. Right! She was speaking to Lilly. Phew!

Wait! What if Lilly tells her the whole thing tonight!

Oh no! I'm doomed stressing and worrying about that now. Great! My life will ALWAYS suck.

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I'm on Ronnie's couch right now. With Michael, Ronnie, mom and Fat Louie.

So yeah, the couch is pretty crowded. I'm actually amazed it didn't collapse yet.

Michael insisted that I sit in between Ronnie and him as he didn't want to sit by Ronnie.

He thinks Ronnie is trying to hit on him.

Which I hope is not true. But if it were, I couldn't really blame Ronnie. I mean, Michael is so hot!

Things are going rather well considering that:

- Michael put his arm around my waist and keeps playing with my hair.

- He also kisses me in the neck when mom is not looking.

- Neither mom or dad have received a phone call from Gupta, which means our role in the Lana/Josh mess hasn't been discovered. Or if it has, Gupta doesn't care.

- We are eating some delicious Chinese take-away

- Michael didn't get mad at me when I told him I'll have to go to a ball with René on Wednesday.

- He agreed to my idea of us touring Europe during summer.

And most importantly:

- Grandmère behaved herself during the Press conference which we just all watched together on the cable TV.

Ok so she said I'm an over-sensitive child… but other than that nothing nasty. I mean at least about me.

She explained the situation to the press, mentioning that Lana was a mythomaniac girl in need of attention and that she had invented the whole story to get that attention.

She then added lots of not so tender details about Lana and had left her daughter behind for more than a month in order to have fun abroad.

Come on Grandmère, dad has never been a whole lot with me either! Are you gonna comment about that as well.

Although why am I complaining? She's insulting Lana and her mother after all!

Plus it might bring Lana's mom back to the States quicker. She, too, is very attached to her reputation.

Grandmère also said that she had been too hasty in bringing me to the hospital and that the only reason I had been crying was because she hadn't believed me when I said I was "innocent".

Ok so she portrayed herself in a better light than she should and she didn't tell the real reason I had been crying is that she had treated me like shit but anyway…

At least she admitted she had been wrong in something. Which certainly cost her a lot! Pride-wise, I mean.

She also added that they at first hadn't wanted to speak about the incident to the press as they had judged the rumours insignificant but considering the proportions they were taking, they'd finally decided to react.

I was right about one thing though… there on the screen everybody could see Rommel sleeping on a red and shiny pillow!

Mom was not completely pleased by the press conference, however. She said Grandmère should have tried to sound more convincing. And also that dad should have spoken as well.

But well mom is quite shaken today as she met Kenny's mother at the hairdresser today… Apparently Kenny's mom had been gossiping about what a terrible heartless tramp I am.

Mom was almost crying when she came back. Although it mostly has to do with her hormones. You know, because eof the pregnancy.

Anyway, I just hope Grandmère's intervention will help shut the stupid rumours down.

Also I hope that Tina and Lilly will come to their senses when they will see that on TV!

Oh yes! My cell-phone is ringing! It might be one of them, who knows?


End file.
